National Day.

Finally, Happy National Day to all the citizens of Malaysia. =) Its our 52nd National Day. Was staying whole day at home today while helping mom with her work. Didn’t want to go out since there will be so many people on the street celebrating for this happy day. I don’t really feel any difference from some other holiday because it’s just another holiday for me.

However, today is also my new friend Ivan’s birthday. Happy Birthday Ivan. =) The weather today is not cozy but it’s not hot as well. Guess it is my heart that is upset with things happened around me. My classmate doesn’t seem to like me much. I tried to avoid myself from thinking about it and just see it as I’m sensitive but my that thinking has been proven wrong again and again. I feel so lonely in the class. I can only talk to my notes, my pencil box and my phone. =(

Everything just seem to be so wrong, nothing is right. See Meng is having headache finding jobs. Wj is sad over his personal thing. Kinz is having heartbroken. My bro just got his heartbroken too. I am struggling in between to work part time other places and help out in the office doing something I don’t like. My wish now is only to finish my papers asap and run away from here.

Being lied is something very hurtful no matter to anyone. How does it feels like when you found out that your good friend who you have been known for 4-5 years lie to you? Do you know how hurt it feels? How am I gonna trust you anymore? Huh? I’m sorry to say this but, your quota is full, I’m not gonna trust you anymore.

Even though I know everything is wrong now, but I must be positive. everything will be right very very soon. I truly hope it will be. =)

 

Anyway, once again, Happy 21st birthday Ivan. May you have a great ones. =) Happy Birthday to Malaysia. =)

MFM 1st Anniversary

Joined this forum since one year ago. That time my papa bought this Garmin GPS thingy, throw to me and say “go and find out how to use it and where to get the map” and so I joined this forum.

Today was the 1st Anniversary of MFM. They actually had a few gathering before in here but I didn’t attend any of them before because my papa wasn’t free to go. This time I went with my papa because some of the uncles insist me to go. Haha. Bro Moey and Bro Doraemon keep checking to make sure that I will attend this gathering. And so I went to Dome Cafe around 2pm. When I reach, I think it was Bro Glommis10 welcomed me and shake hand with me. The next thing shocked me cause he shouted Doraemon’s name and say “Doraemon, Joey is here.” I feel so weird about that though, nvm, Bro Doraemon is counted as the younger ones cause he’s about 30+ only. Many uncles came to shake hand with me and say “nice to meet you joey” However, I’m really so glad that I finally met my sifu, Bro Moey. He really taught a lot of stuffs. Thanks Bro Moey ^^ And of course Bro Doraemon, he called me Fei Ji Mei because I didn’t show up in the previous gathering. Sorry Bro Doraemon. =(

Me and Papa

Bro Ronchan, Me and Papa

A Night At KL.

Last night, papa came to my room and tell me he got 2 tickets of dinner in Sunway Lagoon Resort & Spa ballroom and he can’t attend because he and mama is busy with work. It was a fund raising for my secondary school SMJK Yuk Choy. He asked me to find another friend to accompany me to go to this dinner in KL. So I went to ask a few friends on msn to see whether any of them is free to go with me. See Meng is still in Penang so she’s out of the list. Went to ask Maggie but she is going to Jb for vacation with her family. Asked Mindy Mei about it, but she’s not free also. Her bf just came back from Penang, sorry for a little bit over inviting mei, >< I don’t really have much friend in KL I suppose. So I gave a last shot to ask Alvin about accompany me to this dinner since it is also his former ex school. At first he wasn’t really wanted to go with me because he feel so paiseh. Then he called me on phone and ask me whether there isn’t anyone can accompany me go to the dinner and I told him yea, there is no one else free tonight. He got soft hearted and promise to go with me after I asked him a few times to pei me go.

The van arrive at my house at around 11:30 and we went off to KL after they pick me up. Half way we stopped by Rawang to eat Bak Kut Teh which doesn’t taste like Bak Kut Teh at all. But I still finish eating it and paid RM 15 for my lunch meal. Can you imagine? The people in the van is all my dad’s schoolmates. I feel so lonely and left out. Luckily, I brought my mp3 with me so I was singing all along while on the way to KL. The van driver seems to be a *blur fish* because he got lost during our way to Sunway Lagoon Resort & Spa. We actually went to Puchong where we only need to go PJ! =.=”. We all then realize the van driver got himself lost in KL. We all then trying to get ourselves back to the road we are suppose to be by keep looking at the road sign of going PJ and Bandar Sunway. At last around 430pm, we’ve reach Sunway Lagoon Resort & Spa safely. =) Good work people. =D

The Front Door Decoration

The Main Entrance

All of us are tired and all of them went to sit at the lobby’s sofa where me this silly girl go and wander around in the hotel =p I even recorded some videos about the inside part of this hotel. :x

P/s: It’s not so clear cause my phone camera is only 2mp. Paiseh for the lousy video quality and also my kns voice -.-“

My papa’s friend Uncle Francis Liew came to meet us and took us to eat something to refill our energy. Everyone seems pretty tired especially they are not young le ma, I feel tiring but I guess they feel 10 times tired than me. =(

Uncle Liew’s Mercedes E240, so so comfortable =p

P/s: The plate number has been censored for secure purpose :x

Uncle Francis took us to eat something to refill our energy bar =) It is a cafe call 旺角 which is recommended by a quite famous Hong Kong Actor, 郭晋安

The Menu

 My Chocolate  

This chocolate is not those Belgium Chocolate Blended but it’s taste really really good! I love it so so much. XD Enjoyed every bits of this chocolate drink. Plus, they even put one scoop of chocolate ice cream on top of it! XD

While drinking my chocolate, I played with a cute baby girl standing on the sofa next to me.

After the eating and drinking session, me together with Uncle Ng and his wife follow Uncle Francis to his house to get change. Actually only me. :x However, Uncle Liew lives in a residence call *Glenmarie Residence*. I like that name though, such a pretty name. Along the way to his house, I saw many beautiful houses and the main point is this residence is safely guard with security at the entrance and all the houses in this residence are without any fencing. Cool right? I was thinking to live in this kind of residence someday too, so nice =)

When we arrive his house, I saw an awesome car parked beside his house, which is according to him, its his neighbor and that awesome car was call Lotus. Uncle Liew says that car itself cost like RM20mil+ =.= Those fancy car looks very cool but I wonder how can those people actually get so rich anyway? -.-

Soon after I finish changing, we go off around 630pm to Sunway Lagoon Resort again. When we reach there, I totally amazed by the hall beside the ballroom. So grand and beautiful. It seems to be that only those super rich or high class people who can held functions in here. Our table number was no. 91. Went in and sit there while waiting for Alvin’s call cause he called me earlier to tell me that he’s gonna be abit late. However, he arrives at 730pm. Not as late as I thought he would be but I am so glad that he came to pei me. Thank you so much for accompany me Alvin =)

The dinner was like normal dinner. Nothing special. Alvin wears a purple long sleeve shirt. I was worried if I’d bored him so I keep talking to him to avoid that from happening. We talked about our school time stuff, talk about those people from our school, and also talk about his work. Hope I didn’t bored him. =) He was being a gentlemen. We take food for each other. We took some pictures before he left at 950pm. Honestly, he looks better now compare to our last meeting 2 years ago while I still having my industrial training in KL.

Alvin and Me

Still, thank you so much Alvin for accompany me to this dinner. =)

P/s: I reach home at 2am. -.-

Cheer Up! =)

Can’t really be happy for the past few days. Was sad and moody actually. How would I happy seeing my good friend is sad because he is heartbroken? I would say things between us is kind of ironic, do you agree? At least I feel so. Because of ironic situation, I totally understand how you feel than anyone else could. Because I feel it before too. The situation is the same, just that the characters in the story and the condition of the story is different.

All I want is to help you find ways with your situation now as your good friend. Saw your title last night, you said you are learning how to stand back up after a fall down the cliff, is that even possible? It is possible. All you need is time and supports from your friend. I am very willing to supports you and accompany you walk through the hard time now because you are my good friend. That’s what good friends are, right? ^^

Wj, you will stand back up for sure, its just a matter of time. I know now you can’t yet, but I’m sure you will able to do that in the future. Cheer up! Do whatever you feel to do. I will support you. =)

The quiz you sms me last night, I found it to be quite true. You really knows me very well and I’m glad about the result. Gambateh wj, cheer up =) I know if I keep on holding, we will never be able to talk normal anymore. I truly hope you will really treat me as a friend now, cause I am really getting over you le. However, I won’t regret loving you, thanks for letting to love you for some time. Thanks for all the memories you’ve given to me. I will cherish them in my heart forever. =)

Good Friends Forever =) I really hope we can be good friends forever. =)

My List.

Hasn’t been into any of Taiwan, Japan or Korean tv series for some time already. The most recent that I’ve watched is *Fated to Love You*. It was a quite hot movie back few months ago. I would say this is one of my favorite tv show in my own *must watch movie* list. =p But actually for the recent time of watching this tv series, it was because my good friend was watching it and so I re-watched it. It was a quite good show which worth to be re-watched =p At least we get to discuss and laughing together about the funny part of this tv series. =)

This show is actually talking about the story of a very ordinary girl accidentally walked into a rich handsome guy’s room. They spent a night together as they mistook each other as their bf and gf due to both of them not feeling well. Ethan Ruan is acting as Ji Chun Xi, the rich handsome guy in this show where Chen Qiao En is acting as Chen Xin Yi, an ordinary girl. Not long after that, the girl found out that she is pregnant. The story continue with Chun Xi’s grandmother took Xin Yi to their house and live together under the same roof. Starting Chun Xi is feeling very uncomfortable with the appearance of Xin Yi in the house but as time goes by, he begin to like her. Alright, enough for spreading out some parts of this show, if any of you are interested in watching this show, click on this. =p

P/s: Some of you might love Dylan too. =P

However, few days ago I was somehow got into a quite hot korean tv series. It’s call Boys Over Flower. It is similar to the story line of Liu Xing Hua Yuan I would say, BUT, the guys in this korean tv show are very cue. Gu Jun Pyo is lovey, but I would want to have a guardian angel like Ji Hoo too =p But I know things like that will only happen in tv series, it won’t really happen in real life lar. =(

Whoever is interested in watching this tv series, click on this. =p

My Own List Of *Must Watch Movie/Tv Series*

Movies

• Pirates of the Carribean 1,2,3  *I love Jack Sparrow :x*
• The Holiday
• My Best Friend’s Wedding
• Stardust
• Nothing Hill
• Ice Age 1,2,3
• Wizard Of Oz *Classic =p*
• Home Alone 1
• Twilight *Edward is so handsome :x*
• The Princess Diaries 1 & 2
• Wall E
• Monster Inc.
• The Devil Wears Prada
• Elizabeth Town
• Spider Man 1 & 2
• Harry Potter 1,2,3
• Night at the Museum 1
• Chronicles of Narnia
• Man In Black
• Enchanted *Good to laugh :x*
• National Treasure 1 & 2
• What Happens in Vegas
• Bedtime Stories
• Bridget Jones Diary

That’s all for my movie list now, might add in more in the future =p

Tv Series

• It started with a kiss 1
• The First Shop of Coffee Prince
• Miss No Good
• Fated to Love You
• Boys Before Flowers
• Full House
• Hana Kimi *Taiwan Version*
• Absolute Boyfriend *Thanks to my good friend for introducing =p*
• Hooping Dulcinea *Dou Niu, Yao Bu Yao*
• Seducing Mr. Perfect

That’s all for my tv series, will add in more in the future =p

P/s: I miss eating ice cream. =(

Siew Hui’s Birthday

Happy 22nd Birthday to siew hui ^^ We went to sing karaoke in parade because we don’t dare to go Jusco cause someone got infected in Jusco and so we are avoiding the possibility of us got infected by that stupid virus as well. =/ Thanks to her bf because he treated us for the karaoke session. But I can’t remember her bf’s name. Anyway, thanks siew hui’s bf. =p Thanks Eric for fetching me out. Eric is our secondary school friend too. That fella, been knowing him since I’m 14 if not mistaken. Glad that we’re still keep in contact. =)

However, it’s really my first time celebrated siew hui’s birthday. All these years even during our secondary school time, we’re not as close as how we are now. We never really go out together much last time. But now, we go out at least once a week. She have change into a better person, more easy to get along with. :x

People change as they grow up, I guess now all of us changed. We are no longer the same person we were back in the secondary school time, some of us changed into a better person, some of us change into a bad person. Some still remain childish as ever, some become matured already. It is as always the environment around us somehow force us to change into someone we are not. We might didn’t even realized it that we’ve changed.

However, some of my *bad* points have been pointed out. So I’m trying so hard to throw those bad points away. I know it’s gonna take some time, but I must get rid of those bad points. =)

Ok enough of my crappy nonsense, once again, I hope you love the cake I bought for you, Chocolate Coffee Cake. However, paiseh for the condition of the cake, it’s not as fresh as it suppose to be. It appears to be so dry and hard. >.> I will not buy cakes from that cake shop anymore. The cake shop’s name start with a G. Guess it yourself lar peoples. =P

Once again, Happy Birthday Siew Hui. Hope you enjoy your birthday celebration even though just 4 of us. =)

Better In Time

Seriously, I really hate this period in every year. It is somehow the broken heart season. >< I said that is because since few years ago, there will be people experiencing heartbroken during this period ><

Now those that I know already got 3 people had their heart broken. However, I can only say, things will be better in time, of that, I am so sure. It has to be that way. It must and I know it will be. We should be more positive mar, there are always sunshine over the rainbow. =)

Time will heal, but it also requires own effort to move on with life. But if you can’t move on, then just leave it there. It will automatically moved on as time goes by. How do I know? Because I am trying to get over too. =D However, I will support you on whatever decision you made =)

I know things are very hard for you now. I also know no matter how you will wait for her. Gambateh! Go chase her up! =)

This song is for you. You will wait for her no matter what cause you don’t know what else you can do as you love her so so much. Gambateh! ^^ I’ll be there when you need someone to talk to. =)

Cozy Day.

Guess what? I have instant tom yam mee for dinner. :x *I know, it’s not healthy* Rainy day makes people feel lazy mar, so I can’t be blame for feeling lazy to think what to have for my dinner too. =P So I cooked instant mee and add in some of my favorite crabsticks. xD And great, now my stomach is burning and having *war* again. Eeeeek. ><

Lately, the God is crying almost everyday. *Own imagination* Rains almost every single day during the evening time around 4pm. I think he cry because he is sad with the fact that every single day in the world there will be at least one human died of this stupid disease. >< However, it is very unfortunate to know that in comparison to other country in the world, my country is one of the top country who stands the highest amount of people got infected with this stupid disease. A friend of mine told me last night that the stupid virus has evolves into another more stronger virus call H2N3. For more information, click on this H2N3.

Ok back to the topic. A little bit too much on the virus, they shouldn’t get so much attention cause they are evil. *grrrrr* >.>

I accidentally tune in to AXN and saw this movie going on. It is call *Mr Deeds* and it was a 2002 movie. The moment I saw Adam Sandler in the movie, I knew it will makes me laugh quite badly. And I did. xD I must say Adam Sandler is really a good comedian. =P

There was this last part of the movie which touches my heart. He wrote a poem for his girl call Babe. I was totally amazed that someone actually name their daughter Babe. LOL. I will never ever name any of my child in the future with this name. It shouldn’t be even listed in the name category. To me, that’s a calling to someone I care so much. But I will mostly call the one I love or my bf dear, or the most, Bii? Dear still too common, I would want my future bf to call me baby. :x *Just crapping around xD*

The Poem is like this:

Hard to breathe, Feels like floating

So full of love my heart’s exploding

Mouth is dry, Hands are shaking

My heart is yours for the taking

Acting weird, Not myself

Dancing around like the Keebler Elf

Finally time, for this poor schlubb, To know how it feels to fall in lub.

I feel I shouldn’t even post this poem. July to August has always been cursed by love. Many of my friends had their heartbroken around this time every year. That’s why I said its cursed. >< However, usually everything will be back normal after august, starting September until end of the year. =) So peeps, let’s hold strong together and go through till end of the year! =D

To my good friend wj, things will pass, time will cure, I know the road is very hard for you to walk now, but don’t worry, I promise you, I’ll walk with you because we’re friends mar. =) You’re tough de lor! You can make it de. ^^ I’m sure we will get through  this together sooner or later de. Ok? Trust me. =)

Some meaningful words quote from Amy Cheong, my favorite love philosophy which is very true.

如果你爱的人放弃了你,
请放开自己,
好让自己有机会爱别人.
有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,
有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.

P/s: Tell that to yourself everyday lar =P

P/s: My words for you. =)

Stories.

Put this picture is simply because it makes me feel so warm. Sheep Mama, Sheep Jie Jie and Sheep Mei Mei ^^ They looks cute too, don’t they? =p

It’s been quite a smooth day for me. Except for something confusing in my mind. Heard of a story told by a friend yesterday. She got a very close guy friend and they have been close friends for years. 4-5 years if not mistaken. They even call each other dear for no reason. I guess simply too close ler? She didn’t tell me the reason and I never ask too. So it’s my random guess. Few months ago the guy told her that he grow fond of her but not ready for any commitment. Everything was still fine until 3 days ago. The guy told her that he’s going to get engage with another girl. He told her its all family arranged but he love her.

After hearing this story, my question is, what’s the use of the guy go and tell the girl that he love her but cannot be with her? What’s the point of telling her then? What he expect her to do or react? Knowing someone loves you is a happy thing actually. But it makes people feel helpless when you  know that someone loves you but going to get engage with some other girl that he doesn’t love? I mean if the guy really love the girl so much, can’t he just say no to his parents? Tell the parents that he has someone in mind already and cannot get engage with that girl they arranged for? Can’t believe such thing still exist even until today we’re in 21st century already.

Anyway, no offence, it’s just how I feel about the story. How would he expect the girl to react to it? I really don’t understand. 

Japan Biscuit.

My bro took me out together with him because he feels I’m not happy and emo-ing. Saw this japan biscuit again. It’s the last pack so I bought it. It’s not cheap though, cost me RM 8.90. >< But I can only buy them during this kind of fair which they don’t always held. I can’t find it in cold storage after this fair ends. T.T So no choice, I have to buy it. >< No more choco and lollipop for weeks le. But it’s not that bad for not able to eat choco and lollipop. I found out that somehow I’m not as tempted as I used to anymore towards these junk food. =P

Went to Starbucks with bro and gf. Ordered one cup of my favorite Chocolate Cream Chip *yeah I’m very loyal =p* and redeemed a cup of free Caramel Blended Coffee for my bro. He accidentally recognize the guy who take my order as his college’s senior. His name is Ivan. While I was paying, he thinks me and my bro is classmates. Guess that’s the bad thing of looking like a little girl just because of my baby face. ><

After we sat down for some time, my bro and gf went to do stuffs while I still remain in starbucks surfing with my lappie cause we need to wait for my sis to finish work at 10pm. After my bro and gf left, Ivan came over and we talked for roughly 40 mins during his rest time. He was a quite friendly person. We had a great talk I can say. He’s a graphic design dip holder. I can feel that he’s a very good person and good to be friend with. Nice to meet you Ivan. =) Went home around 10:20. Feel happy to know a new friend. =)

I’ll be there for you.

I suddenly feel so confuse. I don’t know what should I do anymore of our situation now. All this while ever since I know you, we were so happy talking all day long. Msn, sms, we even talked on phone.

Out of a sudden, things change. It wasn’t anybody’s fault I guess. Or perhaps it’s mine. I don’t know. I feel so helpless about our current situation. I don’t know how to solve it and return to the days where we used to talk, sharing stories together, and care for each other. I asked you questions its because I want to find out what went wrong between us. However, by doing so I irritated you without knowing it myself. I’m so sorry. I’m just very very treasure and appreciate our friendship. That is why I do everything trying so hard to maintain it. I’m really so scared because I feel I’m losing a good friend. T.T I don’t want to lose a good friend like you. >< You made your point clear enough and I just want to say that now I really just want to be good friends and nothing more. I won’t hope you to like me as in bf/gf type anymore because it seems to bothered you so much.

You talk to me as if I am tie-ing you up with a rope. I don’t want you to feel that way of me. I’m so sorry for everything I did that irritated you. Don’t tell me not to apologize, cause I feel deeply sorry and I apologize sincerely.

Lastly, I really hope you will talk to me again one day where you don’t feel stress or headaches when you talking to me. I really hope that day will come. I will not disturb you anymore until one day you feel like talking to me again. When that day comes, just pop me up in msn as usual again. I am here and will always be here for you if you need supports or someone to talk to. Paiseh for everything I cause. Hope we are still friends. =)

I will throw those bad points you sees in me. Thanks =)

Ends this post with Bon Jovi’s Classic Song.

I’ll be there for you. This 5 words I swear to you. This is for you.

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love in suicide
You say you're cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore
Now I'm praying to God
You'll give me one more chance, girl
I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you
I know you know we're had some good times
How they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday
And baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drink, I'll be the wine
I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you
And I wasn't there when you were happy
I wasn't there when you were down
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out
I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

Sorry. T.T

Didn’t know talking to me makes you feel this fan. I am so sorry. But please don’t say “don talk forever better still”. T.T

At this moment, I can’t stop myself from crying. Someone who you care so much asking you to leave him alone. Do you know how pain my heart is? T.T I know you need peace. All this while, I never really disturbed you much. Can anyone tell me what really happened until you feel irritate by me? T.T What did I do wrong? ><

2 weeks ago we were still talking on phone. Now you don’t even want to talk to me anymore. Why ar? ><

I need to know the reason, what did I do wrong? T.T

I must have done something wrong until You wants me to leave you alone and give you some peace. I am so sorry for all the disturbance. I will leave you alone for some time. I just hope soo much that we are still friends.

But if possible, I still want to know what did I do until you don wish to talk to anymore. T.T

I’m really so so sorry. T.T

I will change myself into a better person like you ask me to. Just don’t stop talking to me. We’re friends mar, you say we are friends for sure de mar. I will give you peace then. Sorry T.T

Cares.

I just want to say, I feel so grateful enough to be wake up by you every morning. But I am wondering, what actually happened between us which makes us talk like now? You said I did nothing wrong, but why are we like this now? All this while we’ve been friends, isn’t it? We were still fine even 2 weeks ago, how come suddenly everything just got bad? Can anyone tell me what be the reason? I never naughty or do something bad. But I know everything is gonna be fine, yea everything will be fine soon. =)

I’m getting headache with the accounts I’m learning now. I never liked accounts, I get bad result in my spm for accounts and yet I am an account student. But in comparison, I do understand more about accounts now than the first time I had the same subject with my other classmates. I know I can do it, just do more exercise can le. =)

Today Ms. Rachel said wants to fine us for doing something bad in the class. The list is including:

• Play with gadgets in the class including hp and mp3 player.
• Speak other languages in class except English and sign languages.
• Unable to present own self in uniform. * I was told to wear formal starting next week during Ms. Rachel’s class. ._______________. *
• Late to class
• Skipping class without notice or reasonable reason.
• Didn’t pass up homework. *this rule somehow makes me feel like as if we are still in secondary school*
• Doing other subject’s homework during Ms. Rachel’s class.

I should be proud to be the first donor to this fund. I paid 2 bucks for speaking mandarin with my classmates while discussing the class today. Another 40 cents again for talking mandarin with my classmate accidentally while discussion.

Class ends earlier at 2:45pm today. Went down to lobby and sat on the sofa. Adrian came by and talk to me asking me about my god brother in KL. He told me he’s about to graduate soon after this last semester. We talk until 3pm and he went back to attend his 3pm class. My IT Sifu Kar Hing came by after Adrian left. He said hi to me then went up to have his class at 3pm too. Not long after that Andrew appears and saw me sitting on the sofa. He said hello to me and say *long time no see* and I said yea. He said he’s going to class and then he will come and talk to me again later when his class ends. He looks much better and thinner than last time when he was going after me. Looking at him reminds me of my guilty feeling because every single time he ask me out for movies, I never go. Feels bad now. He was a quite nice guy actually, I can only say bad timing because he appears at the time where I am liking Hola. He was after me for roughly 7 months long. He gave up after that. He’s really good in his sweet talk skill, I guess if I’m those 17 or 18 years old de xiao mei mei, I would have fall for him for his sweet talk. Still remember he ask me a day before valentines day, ask me if I can be his valentines. I mistook it as he wants me to dinner with him on valentines day and celebrate that day together. He was actually meant “can you be my gf”. How stupid I am, right? LOL. However, I said no to him because for me, that day is a day for couples to celebrate and we are not so we can’t celebrate it together. Feel sorry for his 22 roses. It’s ex though, RM 99 bucks. >.>

However, roses are pretty. =)

Ordinary.

I am just an ordinary girl wanting something ordinary. I won’t wish to have a rich and handsome boyfriend, I don’t go for branded stuffs like LV or Gucci. I just wanted to be care and love. It’s just a very simple wish, I’ll be satisfy when I feel that someone cares about me. Is that too much to ask for? 

I might look strong to you all but I’m actually very weak inside. All this while I have been acting strong even though I feel pain or sad, did anyone notice it? A lot of bad things happened to me lately and I feel I’m going to collapse soon. I need supports from you all, especially you.

Lately, I have notice something makes me feel so bad. Do you all have any idea how it feels like to know that you actually make someone you care feel bothersome or even disturbed by you? It makes me feel so bad and awful until I don’t know how to react to it anymore. I don’t know how to talk to someone but won’t makes them feel disturbed or bothersome anymore. Can anyone kind hearted enough to teach me that?

Can everything rewind back to the day where you will pop me up in msn to chat with me? I just wanted to talk like “boo what u doing?”. That’s all I ever wanted. No awkward feelings no more sorry. Just talk like “LOL what lor now” or something like that. I don’t like the way we talk now, I feel so uncomfortable. If possible, can you pop me on msn to talk to me again like last time? =)

This is just something sudden appears on my mind after my arguments with my sis. I’m sorry. I am being positive, I love myself more now, I eat meals on time, I stop skipping meals, I trying so hard to make myself more happy everyday. When I’m sad I buy chocolates and lollipop to cheer myself up. I eat bueno eggie and kit kats. I eat McD Sundae Cone. I am concentrate in every class I am attending now. I consider all this is loving myself, tell me, do they count?

P/s: I want to go to the beach so much. =(

Something.

Today I wake up late, wondering why he never wake me up as usual. I mean, he said he will me up de mar, sobs. T.T

I still hope he will wake me up again tomorrow morning, else I gonna be late again like today. I slept until 12 where my class starts 10! Not blaming lar, just wondering.

Due to the H1N1 issue, mask manufacturer is earning like crazy. The whole world is in panic and wanting mask so badly. Even my papa bought 500 mask for our family *just in case* anything happened.

Today my lecturer even recommend us to store some food supply at home in case the situation went bad. I mean, who knows it will or not? Everyday the amount of people infected of this stupid virus in the world is increasing. Told mama about it and she agrees with me. Gonna get some food supply in few days time I hope.

2 days ago Joey told me a big news. He’s getting engage! Wow! I mean my evil twins is going to engage with a girl. That’s amazing right? He has been my evil twins for 5 years now. All this years we have been very great friends and I’m sure that we will always be. =)

Listen to the song he send me and trying to understand that song but I can’t seem to understand it pretty much. =/ It’s Bend on Knee by BoyzII.

However, once again, Congratulation to my evil twins for his engagement. =) I’m so happy for you. You know yourself lar, has been busy busy all day long, I even worried that you won’t be getting marry one day cause you are so committed to your family business. But now I feel glad. =)

Time to change. Thanks =)

After analyze what you said to me on msn just now, I have realized what you said about my bad point is so true. No matter how,  I will try my best to remove all those bad points you sees in me. I’m really glad that you tell me about it. For that, I want to say thanks. =)

But there is some confusion, can I still talk to you when I haven’t able to remove all of my bad points? I will still want to talk to you as friends and hope you will support me and correct my bad points when I forget and did it accidentally?

I wish to talk to you on msn now but I am confuse whether I can talk to you before I am able to throw away all my bad points into the dustbin. I need supports to change mar, if can then support me abit lor ^^. I saw your title and I want to say, I will always be there to save you whatever that might be. We’re friends mar, friends are to support each other and be there for each other. =)

Gambateh neh Joey, I’m sure you can do it! Bad points fast fast go away~~ =)

Prove to yourself and others that you can be a better person than who you are right now. =)

Time to change. I will listen to what you just said. =)

Letting Go.

• Confuse
• Heartache
• Tears
• Hoping so much that we are still friends and can be back good friends ><

Letting Go.

This few words has been in my heart lately. I am confuse of what to do about our situation now. I feel heartache of what happened between us because I really appreciate him and appreciate our friendship so so much. I cried because I don’t know what to do. =( I wish so much for us to talk like last time. I don’t want him to feel pressure and fan of me. I feel disturbing him ><

I’m really so sorry for everything I do, can we erase all sad memories and continue talk like good friends? I know I have been contradicting about being good friends with you previously, but I really mean it this time and I really will be like a good friend, let’s be good friends and friends only lor, ok? =( I will let go of you as you want me to as long as you are happy with it. I will force myself to do so. I really meant it. T.T

No matter what you said yesterday, I know you are just trying to make me stop loving you and get over you faster. I’m so happy knowing you got someone you like and love now. You don’t really need to find a reason to make me get over you, just tell me to move on cause you will feel more happy if I can and I will force myself to do so. However, I am not angry even though after you told me the truth. Thanks for telling me the truth. But you can just tell me and I will understand. Sorry. ><

Now I only want to be good friends with you and friends only. Perhaps we are better that way. Being good friends with you and care by you is what I ever wanted now. I will get over you more faster that way. I hope you won’t feel irritated by me and we can still talk like normal. I apologize deeply for all the stress and headaches I cause. ><

对不起... T.T

 

我们还是朋友嘛 ><

Royal Cheese Cake.

这个蛋糕是award winning的，本来是应该很好吃的，但是这一刻，吃下去，觉得很酸很酸，很伤感...=(

Friendship.

Ever since I’ve decided to let you go, I cry myself to sleep every single night. I feel so suffer T.T.  You said you hope that I can try to let go of you. But is it alright for you to support me in doing so as a friend? You say we are friends for sure mar. We’ve been friends for 3 months, and now we are not talking like that but it is as if we are strangers where we are not. Not even as a friend, it upsets me. ><

Can you please help me to stop my misery? Can give me supports in doing so? ><

I remember once I ask you, do our friendship means something to you and you said yeah, I’m your friend and so it does. But how come what you are doing now somehow makes me feel that our friendship means nothing to you? I never do anything wrong mar. >< Do our friendship still means something to you? >< Tell me? =(

You say you won’t pangseh me, so please don’t =(

Stop treating me like a stranger because we are not. Even you got back with her, we are still friends ar, right?  We’ve been friends for 3 months and even friends you just get to know, you don’t talk like this? I feel so weird lor. >< I bet you will ask me, “how you want me to talk to you lor?” and is to talk to me like how we talk last time as a friend? Just that simple mar ><

Remember the incident you told me about a good friend of yours? You told me that you worry if something happened, we will ends up like her, can’t even be friends. I too worry about that and don’t want that to be happened. >< So can we talk like at least a friend you know for 3 months ? ><

I’ve been thinking, is it I treat you not good enough, that’s why you don’t talk to me anymore? I feel like talking to you but I am scared if I bothered you but I didn’t notice it myself? I hope you will still talk to me. =(

Don’t make things so awkward leh >< I feel so so weird.  >< Let’s just talk like at least a friend? ><

Decided.

I couldn’t sleep, I think its because I cried too much just now. I started to cry after my da jie lend me her iPod Nano to listen. I keep skipping songs until one song stops my hand from skipping it. Although this song sounds very nice, but it also makes me cry even more. I am crying because I know I must let go and I’m trying so hard to convince my heart for doing so. >< No one will ever understand how pain my heart is at this moment. When I was singing this song and crying, my heart tells me that I should let go, else he’s gonna feel fan and I am suffering myself too. Why do something that doesn’t make other people and myself feel good?

You all can get this song by pressing on this highlighted link.

Falling slowly

I know I am being stubborn but sometimes I just can’t help it. Stand on his position, if I’m him, I would feel so pressure knowing there is a girl love me this much and yet I’m loving someone else. I should have understand this earlier. Paiseh. I somehow got a very strong feeling that I have to stop what I’m doing now else he will get irritated by me soon enough and I will lost him as my friend. I am super sure and confirm that I will never ever want that to be happen. For this, I feel so sorry. I just want you to know that you are a friend I appreciate very much which I won’t want to lost.

I know what I should do now. I decide to let you go is because I love you too much. You’re already very tired every day since you start to work last week and I don’t want to add more problems to you and making you feel headache. Letting you go is not gonna be easy since I love you so so much. It’s gonna take months or even years. But if by doing so you will feel less guilty, then I will force myself to do so. Although I can’t bare to let you go, but I know that’s the thing you hope me to do now. I feel you will be happy when you know that I finally decide to let you go. I want you to be happy. =)

However, I am deeply heartbroken. I can’t love anyone anymore, at least not before June next year. Sorry for all those headaches and stress cause by me ever since you know the fact that I love you. Zhen de Hen Dui Bu Qi. Lastly, I truly hope that we are still friends. I do hope so much that one day we can back to good friends again where I start to tell you about the guy I like and ask for your opinion on what guy’s thinking. Heh.

I sang this song as well, sounded so much like me. ><

P/s: Heartbroken season is here again. T.T It’s like a curse. ><

Good morning to whoever reads my blog. =)

Rainy Day.

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你

不敢打给你 因为怕你不听

谁和我一样，等不到她的谁

怎样的雨怎样的夜 怎样的我能让你更想念

雨要多大 天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴

It’s raining heavily outside, I really miss him so much. Guess he will never understand how much I miss him at this very moment. You seem so happy when you think I have let go of you. I think I know why, cause it soothes your guilty feelings. You know how much I love you but at the same time, I also know that you can’t and will never love me back the same way.

No matter what, I will still keep to the promise I made. I don’t care if anyone thinks I am stubborn or what, I am stubborn when I love someone very much. However, I will never forget the night where you tell me what you think of me. At least I know that I’m not that bad in your heart.

Suddenly I remember once, you let me guess a joke. Someone wanted to be something that can suck blood and able to fly when the God ask him for wishes. When he wakes up, he appears in a factory. You ask me, *You guess what he became* and the answer was Whisper because Whisper got wing. You laugh so happily. I miss your jokes too. =(

Guess the rain make me emo. I feel so cold and sad. I am standing outside the door, wind blows through me together with rain drops. Mr. Flu just send me a letter that he’s coming to visit me soon. I reply his letter asking him to come alone, don’t bring Mr. Fever along, because I hate Mr. Fever. Mr. Fever don’t visit me often but every single time he visited me, I will be whole day on bed and no energy to do anything at all. Especially nowadays, due to the stupid H1N1, the appearance of Mr. Fever will cause a lot of problems because Mr. Fever might brought along new friends to visit me. I wonder if I get myself sick, will he cares more about me? =/

Sigh, I really miss him a lot. =(

Love’s Feeling.

Yvaine: You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

So Touching…saw this on tv today. T.T

Wishing.Hoping.

Every time, when I sense something is wrong or something went wrong, I will get nervous and worried. I will try so hard to find out where went wrong and keep thinking how to make things right again. However, when I can’t find solution, my heart will feel so lost and don’t know what to do. I need someone to tell me, nothing is wrong, everything is just as fine as it is, don’t worry. When someone told me that, my heart will then convinced that everything is fine. The only cure to my this *habit* is telling me what is happening at that moment. I just need a reason for me to stop thinking so much. Because when I don’t know what is happening or got confused, I will luan luan think and irritates people without knowing. =( I’m sorry. ><

I am a boring person and a thinker. Sorry for being such a person, I will try my best to change that bad habit. I’m sucks. Sigh. =(  I guess I’m just not good enough for anyone.

Would someone cheer me up now by popping me up on msn? T.T

Mr. Failure is getting nearer to me and Mr. Boring doesn’t want to leave me. Can anyone teach me how to get away from Mr. Boring ? Anyone close to Mr. Funny? ><

I just wanted to be care by him. Why is it so hard? =(

I am me, silly boring stupid thinker. How I hope he would wake me up again at 7 every morning. But I feel grateful enough to be wake up by him for the past 1 week. It was the happiest week I have for this whole year. Feel so warm to be wake up by him every morning and get to talk to him every morning. Thanks for making me so warm and happy for the past 1 week. Don’t worry, I won’t think much le. If only you could wake me up again as a friend, I would feel so so happy and not thinking much anymore.

 

3 months le, Cheers to our friendship =)

Finally, 3 months le. As usual, I am being silly again. Should say I am me bah :x But I think I won’t stop counting. =) 3 months, 4 months and 5 months and so.

My life has been so fun ever since I know you. Laughing and joking, LOL-ing, Rofl-ing, crapping together. We also chat about the shows or movies we watched. Of coz there is also times where I’m sad or you’re sad, we will listen to each other’s stories and help sharing the problems both of us has. We went through hard times and happy times together. We cheer up each other, supports each other and comfort each other when we sad. =)

I'm really so so glad to have you as my good friend. I appreciate you a lot and I really mean it. =)

Although I love you very much but I’m happy to see that you are happy now. Yay! =)

If only I met you earlier than her, perhaps things will be different =/ Well, I’m happy as long as you’re happy. =)

I believe we will always be good friends. Once again, Happy 3 months =)Cheers to our friendship =)

My Heart Whisper To Me.

有些话你选择不对她说

你说某种脆弱

我才感同身受

我永远都愿意当个听众

安慰你的痛

保护着你从始至终

就算你的爱 属于她了

就算你的手 她还牵着

就算你累了 我会在这

一人留 两人疚 三人游

悄悄的 远远的 或许舍不得

默默地 静静地 或许很值得

我还在某处守候着

说不定这也是一种幸福的资格

至少我们中还有人能快乐

这样就已足够了

Dui Bu Qi. =(

I know I am a thinker. I can think so much, as much as I want. I would think so much is because I am not sure about things. I need a reason for me not to think so much. For example, sometimes you tend to doze off on msn while we chat. The next morning you would tell me and say “sorry, I doze off le last night” then I never think other stuff le. I won’t be thinking like why he never reply me, is it I said something wrong again? Cause I know its only because you doze off, it’s not like don’t want to reply me or ignores me. Just as simple as that.

I think so much is also cause by my worried. When I’m worried or lost, I always think the negative way and think a lot. But when we talk happily like normal, I never think so much, cause I know everything is fine and I won’t think so much anymore.

I’m really so sorry for thinking so much. =( I will be guai and won’t think so much le. Cause you don’t want me to think so much and so I will do my best not to think so much le. =)

For you, I will change that bad habit. =)

Woots. =D

Hah! Nothing much changed ma, we should be celebrating for such happy news. Yay! ^^

Come on, my good friend got back with his little princess. This is a very great news ar. =D *Woootsss!!!!* ^^

God bless you both happy loving together. =D Lalalalaala~

Xi gua, tolerance is very important in a relationship. You older mar, so must tolerate more. I didn’t say you didn’t, but tolerate more ma. Bleh. xD

I’m going to have class again starting next Tuesday. Kind of worry because this semester got Management Accounting. *Isshhh I hate accounts and my math is fail de lor =.=*

My timetable is just nice.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Remaining 3 free days have to help out in the office still.

About F&B Operations, I can’t really recall anything about it from my tiny brain. Paiseh xD

I hope my good friend will still supports me in my studies, cause he helps me in passing all the papers in my last exam. A million thanks to him. =)

Lastly, I just want to say, you don’t have to distance yourself from me because you are not hurting me at all. I’m happy when I know you’re happy too. Remember? I said before, my biggest concern is for you to be happy. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy =) Stay happy lar xi gua. I hope you will still wake me up, as a friend. =)

I don’t care, no matter what happens, we will always be good friends and this is a fact which will never ever change. =D Nothing is awkward at all, just LOL me more lar xD. We’re friends ar =)

P/s: Anyone wants to watch movie with me? I want to watch The Proposal so much. T.T

I’m happy for you. =)

Finally, you made my wish come true. You both are back together as one again. I must say that I feel so so so happy for you truthfully from my heart. It is one of my wish in my wish list. I want to thank you for making it come true =)

I somehow knew that this day will come. It’s just a matter of time when will it be and finally this morning you told me so. Honestly, the joy of knowing you both are back together is much higher than me feeling sad and hurtful of knowing about this. Because deep down in my heart, I know that she’s the only one who can give you happiness that now your heart seek in this universe, at least the whole sg. Lols.

Even there is a period when you think she doesn’t care about you at all, I keep telling you that she do cares about you and she loves you. Since last time, I have been there for you whenever you feel sad and fan and I will always be there for you even until now if you still trust me and willing to shares me your problems and happy things happened in your life. We’re good friends and yea it’s still under friend’s category *I know* and that’s what friends do. I am a proven good listener and if you willing to tell me, I’ll be feeling so glad because it shows that you trusted me. Don’t worry, I will never ever betray you and in fact I didn’t.

We have always been good friends and I hope it won’t change because I really feel sad every single time when I sense changes. There is no should or shouldn’t in matters to relationship. I just fell. You said I should stop loving you, I am sorry to tell you that right now, I couldn’t make it. It’s gonna take months or even 1 year + for me to really get over you. I don’t even know If I could, but right now, I really couldn’t.

After all, I just want to be a listener who listen to your problems and happy things or simply anything happened in your life. For example like, that guard lame lor, every time see me like want eat me or one of my colleague sibeh kns, don’t willing to teach me stuffs. >.>. Or for instant, the show you currently watching, you said “lol they spend 1.01mil buy a fake one”, and when you saw cun xi in his bed room, you said “i like tt type of bed ><” and yeah that type of bed is very nice, I like it too >< and also when comes to that part where I said Anna is pretty, you said “but i don like: :x” , “i like sweet cute looking big eyes.” This way of chatting is making me feel so peaceful and happy. That day is a very peaceful and happy day for me and I enjoy it very much. =)

Just cares for me and talk to me like how we normally talk can le. That’s my only wish now. We will always be good friends right? Cheers to our friendship =) Good friends forever =)

 

我以为

你曾说不想有天让我知道
你对他有那么好
你说会懂我的失落
不是靠宽容
就能够解脱
我以为
我出现的时候刚好
你和他正说要分开
我以为你
已对他不再期待
不纵容他再给你伤害
我以为我的温柔
能给你真的愉悦
我以为我能全力
填满你感情缺口
专心陪在你左右
弥补他一切的错
也许我太过天真
以为奇迹会发生
我以为终究
你会慢慢明白
他的心不在你身上
我的关心
你依然无动于衷
我的以为 只是我以为
我以为我的温柔
能给你真的愉悦
我以为我能全力
填满你感情缺口
专心陪在你左右
弥补他一切的错
也许我太过天真
以为奇迹会发生
他让你红了眼眶
你却还笑着原谅
原来你早就想好
你要留在谁身旁
我以为我够坚强
却一天天地失望
少给我一点希望
希望就不是奢望
却输得那呢绝望)

I am a good girl who listen to you. =)

For once again, I screw things up. Xi gua, I’m very very sorry for saying those rubbish last night. Bet you know I couldn’t sleep well last night because you didn’t reply me on msn and I don’t know what to do. I am stupid isn’t it? I don’t want to become a problem to you, I am so scared that I might makes you feel irritated or fan. I am so scared. I don’t know what to do. I just wish we could talk like last time. =( I asked you what happened between us and what went wrong? You said nothing went wrong. Last time we can simply talk anything, and why we no longer doing so? Remember? we’re very close. Until there is a period you asked me, “What kind of rls we are in?, I’m confused”. Things never change much, you are still you, I’m still me. There shouldn’t be any changes just because I love you. I believe you know how much I love you. But I also know that you love her very much and now you’re stuck. Yea I’m jealous over sp, because I feel her presence threaten me in some way. I’m sorry for being jealousy, like you said before,  “at least it proves that you really love me when you said so.” Even I jealous, I keep to myself, because I know you don’t really like people to jealous as much. I don’t want to make you feel like, we’re not even together yet, but you are so jealous already. You should know why I jealous, isn’t it?  You explained to me that you both are just friends, and so I believe you and never think much about sp anymore. I am happy enough to be wake up by you every weekdays at least. Talking to you every morning soothes my heart and worries. I don’t think so much when I talk to you on phone cause I want to be a good girl who is guai. You say to me on the phone the other day “guai, don think so much, ok?” I guai guai listen and don’t think as much le.

Don’t worry, everything is fine. Just talk to me like now can le. Ok?  For the past few days, being wake up by you every morning makes it my happiest week among all months. I’m not trying to pressure you or anything, it’s just something in my mind, sorry if it give pressures to you after you read this. I hope I won’t become a problem to you, because I really scare you will pangseh me when that happens. =(

Xi gua, I really love you so much. Let’s talk like normal lor. Ok? Don’t abandon your xD and Boo and Ding Dong again, =(

Come on lor, we’re good friends and we will always be =) So awkward sia talking like this. Knock your head ler, I will come sg to knock your head one day for sure. :x

I miss talking to you on phone. =(

我只为你乖

我只为你乖，你知道吗？
我听你的话，我乖，是因为我真的很爱你
我并不是机械人，我也有感觉的

我不会奢望你会有爱我的一天
我只想乖乖的在你身边听你跟我分享你的一切。。
开心的，不开心的，伤心的。。
你关心我，陪我聊天，那就够了。。
求求你不要再把我推开了...=(

突然想起一首歌。。我是如此爱你

我是如此爱你，却只能沉默站在原地
像一个迷失孩子般遗漏在人群
我是如此爱你 明知道得不到你的回应
心情像失群的孤雁 飞在黄昏里

最后的最后，我想说，我们怎么了？

感觉上好像在唱S.H.E的我们怎么了。

我们像以前这样谈天，好吗？什么都说，好不好？我们是好朋友啊^^ 即时是我喜欢你，我们还是好朋友啊。。Let’s talk simply anything ok? =(

Tears.

Have you notice something? I never cry as much as last time le? It is because I’m so happy with us now. You ask me a question the other day, and the answer is yes I’m very contented of the little like from you. Even just a little, but I am already satisfied with the little like from you. ^^

Ever since you started to work, I get to talk to you every morning after you wake me up. Do you have any idea how happy I am to be able to talk to you on phone every morning even just a while? I feel so warm listening to your voice every morning. I feel so paiseh for saying those words to you yesterday, sometimes I just couldn’t help it bah. >< However, I do hope what I said didn’t stop you from comforting me cause it really means a lot to me. =(

I am very happy and satisfied with us now. But I know you still love her a lot even though you told me something you are very assure between you both the other day. I know you still hope so much in her and will be so damn happy when she said she wants to be back with you. She do love you and cares about you, at least I feel so =). I hope and pray for the best for you both because I know she’s the only one who can give you what you need the most now. Silly xi gua, even though I really love you, I want you to be happy too. That’s what I concern the most. When you argue with her again,  I hope you would tell me like last time and I can calm you down again like how I used to. =)

I don’t mind myself sad, I would do anything as long as you can be happy. =)

Loving someone, its not like we must own that someone, we have to understand and cares for the feelings of the one we love. =)