Chances.

Last night my mind went narrow, I said things I don’t even know what I’m saying. I feel so so guilty and don’t know what to do. For this, I apologize deeply. I know you don’t want me to say sorry to you, but my heart really feel terribly bad. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Eyes open big big thinking a lot of things. I think of myself, I think from your perspective. Imagine if I’m you, I’ll surely feel so bad knowing there is a girl who loves me so much but I don’t know what to do with her because of my current situation.

I just want to say, I’m satisfied already with your cares for me now and you talk to me. That’s what I ever wished for. Just continue doing so and I’ll be very satisfy =) I have learned not to jealous as much as last time. I know myself is a boring person, I’ve been trying hard to make myself to become a more interesting person. Thanks to you, I’m trying hard to change myself into a better person. =)

There is something I know long ago just I’m trying so hard to avoid the fact that I know about that something. It somehow makes my heart feel better and less painful. I want you to know I wish nothing more for you to be happy everyday. I would do anything just to make you happy.

You said not now, maybe future. Since I’m still on progress on the promise I made, so the *maybe future* is not a problem to me. I’m still waiting and been waiting since 1 month ago, near to 2 months soon. =)

I’m happy enough with the current situation and let’s hope for the best and I’ll be waiting patiently for the future. =) I need extra hard work so my dream can come true where I’ll be able to work in sg hopefully next year so I might have more chances to be with you.^^ You always think that you don’t worth for me, but you worth everything for me. I would think I’m not good enough for you rather than you not worth for me. Silly you.

When you ask me this morning on msn, *you want talk  to me on phone?” I jumped on my bed and feel so happy because I really love to talk to you on phone very much. We talk for half an hour and you fall asleep half way. You even act sleep while listening to me singing. Bleh =p I listen to your sleeping sound for 20 minutes only willing to hang up. How I wish I can don’t hang up until you wake up in the morning. =p

The last thing I want to say is..

I love you my xi gua. =) 

P/s: Can I talk to you more on phone =(