Love Philosophy.

Feel sad because he’s going to start working soon which is next Monday. I am very sure that I will miss him a lot. Real a lot. Jie said that I’m totally obsessed and I say yea, I am totally obsessed in him. He said he don’t understand why I love him so much. I don’t understand why too. One of my favorite writer wrote about love philosophy. She wrote:

我愛你，根本沒有原因。不是因為你像我或者你剛好與我相反。 不是一種心理補償，不是你擁有甚麼優點，甚麼條件， 也不是因為你怎樣對我。不要問我為甚麼愛你，如果我能夠回答，那些原因也不過是我在事後才想到的。

I totally agree with what she wrote. Cause it’s very true. She also said that it is very suffering to love someone, but the happiness given by him is also the biggest happiness for her. I have always been wondering, who am I to him. Just a normal friend? or a good friend who he cares? I don’t dare to ask him about this, cause I don’t know what will be the answer. He would probably say *we’re friends lor*. To me, he’s my close friend, someone who I share my stories and problems, someone who cares for me, someone who I concerned and cares the most, someone that I can’t afford to lose, someone who I willing to do anything for, someone I miss a lot all the time, someone I love the most. I wonder, am I even attractive? I really don’t know. I guess no one will likes me bah, I’m jealousy, I always think negatively, and I am a thinker. I’m sucks. I have nothing for someone to like me. I think I can’t blame that no one likes me le. Sigh.

I’m challenging myself in doing something cruel to myself. Told jie about it last night and she totally agrees with me. She said “nothing can be help” and yea she’s true. But by being cruel to myself at least he won’t feel fan about that. Don’t want him to headache so much cause he already have so many things to fan about. Hate myself for thinking so much, the phrase below is exactly talking about why we will think so much and worry every single person around the person we love. Insecurity? Lack of confidence? I think its because of this two factors bah.

對於出現在自己所愛的男人身邊的任何一個女人，我們總是有許多聯想的。他會愛上她嗎？一生之中，我們重復著多少次這樣的憂慮？這些微小的妒忌，本來就是愛情的本質，也許是毫無根據，毫無道理的。爱一个人，就会爱他的所有，不会因为一些世俗的东西而改变。

没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。
可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。
假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？
或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，
但是你有没有想过在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，只是你没发觉而已呢？所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧!他/她或许已经等你很久咯！

This phrase was actually saying, if you don’t try to like or love that someone who loves you, how do you know whether you will or not like or love that person very very much?

Anyway, it’s just my point of view of what this writer wrote. No offence. =)

A random photo of me and my bro that I found in my laptop. Taken last year I think. My bro is acting so ke lian as if I bully-ing him.

P/s: I love my bro ^^

London Eye.

Saw aixin’s facebook and saw this photo. So I saved it. She and her moomoo went to Paris and places. How good, can go travel with bf. I’m happy for you aixin. =)

Must go and see one day if got chance. I wanted to go Australia too cause it is my favorite country. Jie, lets go travel together. =)

I miss my xi gua very much. =(

Something is big this morning. His interview. Promised to call him in the morning. =) In fact, we just hang up around 22 mins ago because his interview is at 9am. Poor thing my xi gua, he’s been awake since 6am+ and feel very very sleepy T.T

I wake up then smsed him on 730am and called him to talk on 735am. We talked for roughly 1 hour and 7 mins and hang up at 842am. I enjoy talking to him. Heee. =p I think I really need to ask zy to help me get a sg sim card. So he could save some money smsing Singapore number.

Yay, he promised to wake me up in the morning. Hee ^^ Although he can’t call me since his phone cannot call international calls. Sms also enough le. Hee. I would feel everyday is so beautiful when he start to sms me to wake me up everyday :x OMG SO HAPPY ^^

Omg, I miss him so much already. T.T

I miss hearing his voice too when he’s on phone with me. T.T

I miss talking to him on phone. =(

P/s: xi gua, I miss you very much. =(

Chances.

Last night my mind went narrow, I said things I don’t even know what I’m saying. I feel so so guilty and don’t know what to do. For this, I apologize deeply. I know you don’t want me to say sorry to you, but my heart really feel terribly bad. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Eyes open big big thinking a lot of things. I think of myself, I think from your perspective. Imagine if I’m you, I’ll surely feel so bad knowing there is a girl who loves me so much but I don’t know what to do with her because of my current situation.

I just want to say, I’m satisfied already with your cares for me now and you talk to me. That’s what I ever wished for. Just continue doing so and I’ll be very satisfy =) I have learned not to jealous as much as last time. I know myself is a boring person, I’ve been trying hard to make myself to become a more interesting person. Thanks to you, I’m trying hard to change myself into a better person. =)

There is something I know long ago just I’m trying so hard to avoid the fact that I know about that something. It somehow makes my heart feel better and less painful. I want you to know I wish nothing more for you to be happy everyday. I would do anything just to make you happy.

You said not now, maybe future. Since I’m still on progress on the promise I made, so the *maybe future* is not a problem to me. I’m still waiting and been waiting since 1 month ago, near to 2 months soon. =)

I’m happy enough with the current situation and let’s hope for the best and I’ll be waiting patiently for the future. =) I need extra hard work so my dream can come true where I’ll be able to work in sg hopefully next year so I might have more chances to be with you.^^ You always think that you don’t worth for me, but you worth everything for me. I would think I’m not good enough for you rather than you not worth for me. Silly you.

When you ask me this morning on msn, *you want talk  to me on phone?” I jumped on my bed and feel so happy because I really love to talk to you on phone very much. We talk for half an hour and you fall asleep half way. You even act sleep while listening to me singing. Bleh =p I listen to your sleeping sound for 20 minutes only willing to hang up. How I wish I can don’t hang up until you wake up in the morning. =p

The last thing I want to say is..

I love you my xi gua. =) 

P/s: Can I talk to you more on phone =(

Thanks to stomache :x

Since xi gua so happily on phone, I might as well take this time to blog about something very happy that happened last night which I feel so so happy. I still remember once he asked me if I like to talk to him on phone. And I told him yea, I like to talk to you on phone. I enjoy every bit and treasure every moment especially when we are on phone. Last night I off my msn earlier cause everyone seem so busy and no one bother to talk to me. My msn title for last night was *I am always extra*. Went to watch The Holiday and My Best Friend’s Wedding AGAIN and cried again. I got this bad habit where when I’m watching my favorite movie, I will be very into it until as if it was me in the movie. I can’t imagine how will I be if I’m Julianne. She committed to her best friend’s wedding. She’s been adoring her this best friend for a long time. Should say they both are in love for so many years but they didn’t go to that sensitive area to figure that they both might actually fell in love with each other. I wrote the previous blog before this post before I went off. Keep crying and crying, I even went to re-watch the silly creation mv I did for him few months back.

The background music makes my tears turns to floods. T.T Still remember that time after I send him tat mv, he asked me *You really like me so much huh* and I say *yalor, so much*. I think think think then cry more. Suddenly, I heard the song Edward plays in Twilight, I take my towel to wipe my tears and see the message. It was him. I smile instantly after I read his sms. ^^ He doesn’t wants me to emo so I promised him that I won’t be emo anymore. =)

I came online after he ask me *Not coming online?*. Half way talking to him, my stomach started the *war*. >< We chatted on msn while he’s figuring how to help me in lessen my stomache. He suggest that we go off together at 3am. So we went off together at 3am. Called him to talk for a while, cause I’m in pain from my stomache ’s torture, so I couldn’t sleep. I feel so happy that he pei me talk on phone. But I know he’s already so sleepy, he’s just waiting me to sleep and so he can  sleep. I knew he’s so sleepy so I told him I’ll be guai and go sleep so he can sleep. We hang up around 336am. But my war dragged me for another 24 mins till I force myself to sleep while it’s not so pain at that moment. T.T

However, I would rather my stomach torture me more so I can talk to him more on phone ^^  Bleh, I don’t care if anyone of you think I’m stupid or silly, I’m just me. xD BLEH! =p

I AM SO SO SO HAPPY LAST NIGHT. Thanks so much xi gua ^^

P/s: me =P

Testimonials

Flash through friendster few days ago cause nothing interesting to do at that time. I realized that I have 400+ testimonials which conclude real testimonial about myself from my friends and also some graphical comments for Christmas and new year or even birthday. I saw something meaningful to me while I flashing through all the testimonials I gained few years back. It was from Luna and Ah bee. Luna used to be my god sis, I just have no idea what happen to us later on. Ah bee was my online best bud few years back. See the testimonials date, he was my best bud like since 2002. But I no longer contacts with this two person. Ah bee not that sad, I feel more sad when I thought of Luna. Cause we both used to be so close, she’s my dearie sis. I re-read ah bee’s testimonial about me, and didn’t realize what he said was quite true I feel. Some of it lar. I can’t judge myself. Let you all to decide ba.

I feel so confuse and don’t know what to do. He’s been in a bad mood since last night, even today I talk to him, he doesn’t seem to be in a good mood. I miss chatting with him on msn. I know he’s moody and I wished there is something I can do to cheer him up. Even now I know he’s on msn but I don’t dare to message him cause I scared if I might say things which makes him to angry on me. Whenever I’m sad, he can easily brighten my day. He just need to tell me that “Don’t think too much, I’m just not in a mood, you did nothing wrong.” and I will be totally cheered up.

*I miss calling him xi gua =(*

My Dream.

You don’t want me to rely so much on you until I can’t function by myself. I think I understand why. This somehow reminds me of someone you told me before. You’re worried if I would become like her. I promise you, I won’t be like her.

I guess I just can’t help falling in love with you. Even though I fall alone but I’m happy loving you. Sharing your problems is one of my favorite things to do, do you know that? Don’t ask me why do I love you so much and what’s good in you that can make me love you so much, cause I don’t know how to explain. I only know I love you, as simple as that. And stop saying yourself sucks cause you didn’t realize the good side of you. You’re very caring, you’re funny, you’re sweet in your own way, you worried if you might hurt me, you have a good heart, you can cook, and you always help your mom out, but most of all you sound very cute when you talk Cantonese on phone where I love hearing you talk. And seriously I will be feeling so lucky to be with you one day if possible. If that day ever comes, I will feel that I’m the most lucky person in the world cause I’m with you.

I know I can’t ask for you to love me, so I can only ask for you to care for me. Just don’t say you don’t care about me, cause I really need your care. I’m sorry. >< I don’t normally call you wj, from last time we just boo or ding dong each other to start a conversation, I’ll call you that in audi cause u ask me to. I have always listened and do of whatever you ask me to. I’m guai de. =)

How Did I Fall In Love With You?

What can I do, to make you mine?

Falling so hard so fast this time…

What did I say, what did you do?

How did I fall in love with you?

Confident is something I don’t have with me.

Confident is something I don’t have with me. It’s not the first time hearing people around me asking me to be more confident and have more confident in myself. I just couldn’t help it I guess. Still remembering Jack, Seal, and Marc used to scold me for that even 4 years ago.

My heart feel so confusing, worry and messy. I know you will surely tells me don’t think too much de. You even please me don’t think so much. I am so afraid and worry that I wasn’t good enough until I lose you. I’m really so afraid to lose you. >< Can’t afford to lose you. ><

To: xi gua,

Xi gua. I’m so sorry for thinking so much. It’s just that I have no confident in whether you will like me or not. I’m worried that I not able to makes you to like me. =( I miss talking to you on phone. T.T 

From: silly dong gua 

Joy.

Finally~ exam ends today with E-Commerce paper. *WOOHOOOO!!*

Ok enough with the screams :x

Reach college around 2:15pm and went up to CT. I’m surprised to see everyone is already holding the question paper and looking through the questions already. I shocked and ask: “the exam starts on 230pm right?” the examiner say: “yea but they all are so excited to see the questions and start the exam already”. I was totally *O_O okayyy* Exam begins after I sat down. Filling up all the details like IP number and IC number and look through the question paper. I smile so happily because it is exactly the same *Exam Alike* question our lecturer gave us 1 week before the study week. The only difference is just that they rephrase the question :x

For the first time everyone looks so happily and confident during the exam. Because most of us who studied should have no problem answering the questions. I even write to the last minute of the exam-425pm. Feel superb happy about today’s exam. And the best thing of after-exam is HOLIDAY! Weeee! ^^

However, yesterday was Ms. Nurainie ’s last day in college. She resigned from being the lecturer for hotel management course coordinator. Feel sad about it but nothing I can do about it. She’s been my lecturer for 4 years already, will surely miss her teaching and laughing.

Miss Nurainie and Qarina. =)

Anyway, all the best to you Miss. =) You will always be remembered by all the hotel students especially both the HND batch ^^ Take good care Miss. ^^

Hope for the best.

Today is the day for customer service’s paper. Reach there 5 mins before the exam starts at 2pm. It was ok in the section A. Things went wrong in section B. Still I hope for the best. ><

Feeling superb upset for today’s paper. Wanted to talk to him online cause I know it’s not cheap for him to reply my sms. International sms ma. Sigh. Perhaps I should really go and get a sg sim card. Gonna ask zy about it later on.

Mama ask me to search about something online. I saw his msn title. I know he’s sad. How I wish I could online and cheer him up. =( But I can’t cause I need to study for tomorrow’s paper. I even call jie’s hp ask her to talk to him on msn. Jie should be able to cheer him up since jie so creative. But he went off not long after I call jie on phone. I even spammed him with sms cause I didn’t know he’s busy settling things. How stupid I am. >< Later on received his sms telling he’s busy settling things and ask me to concentrate on my studies for tomorrow’s paper. I feel so bad and stupid. I’m so worried about him. T.T

P/s: I love you this much :p

Can we remain the same please? =(

Tomorrow is the customer service paper. Feel so worry and scared for no reason. Been studying since last week and I truly hope everything will goes fine for me.

Another thing concerns me. Not my exam but things between us. I’m really so happy with our current situation. I don’t wish any changes between us. You said I can be consider, but I somehow don’t feel that you will choose me. I really don’t know. If you choose me of coz I will feel super happy. But I somehow got a feeling telling me of that won’t be happening. I didn’t tell him about I feeling this. Don’t wish to pressure and makes him feel stress talking to me again. ><

I only know I’m happy with our current situation and I pray hard for our current situation to remain as it is now. But I really feel so worry ><

I don’t know what to do. =(

I hope you really do mean it when you tell me that I’m so cute in cantonese when we were on phone yesterday. Cause what you say means a lot to me. It makes me feel abit confident and super happy after you told me that. =) Did you realize I’m actually smiling when you say that I’m cute? ^^

P/s: I miss eating bathtub ice cream. =(

I’m Happy On Phone =p

Totally got no idea why am I so not motivated today. Doesn’t seem to even have the mood to study at all. Don’t ask me why, just not motivated at all. Therefore I called him to talk and we talked for hours. I feel so happy talking to him, enjoy every bits hearing him laughing in the phone. At least I made him laugh. =) I’m happy when he’s happy. ^^

Half way he asked me to sing jap song to him on the phone and I sang. Not so accurate but in my own style of singing jap song. Hope he won’t mind my sucky voice and my lousy pronunciation in japanese :x I sang a few jap songs. The first was the opening song of a cute and lovely anime call “Lovely Complex”. It’s Kimi + Boku = Love? by Tegomass. Quite a nice and cheerful song. The next song is the ending song of “Lovely Complex”. It’s Kiss~Kaerimichi no Love Song~ by Tegomass as well follow by the theme song from an anime call “Suzuka” which introduced by hola few  years back. Its call Start Line by COACH. And just when I finish singing the first jap song, he told me he was actually having bath while listening to me singing. Hope he enjoys my sucky voice :x

Loves to hear him talking in cantonese. He really sounds so cute when he speaks cantonese. Don’t need to speak so accurately de mar, sometimes speak not accurate also sound cute :P

I’m looking forward to our next phone talk :x

Muahs :x

P/s: I miss my Tempura Udon. =(

Marriage.

I believe everyone has their own different view on marriage. I can always see young mommy carrying the baby’s bag and young daddy carrying the baby on his hand happily shopping together in the shopping complex. Younger generation nowadays seems like to marry at a young age. Even my 12 years buddy Machi, her 2nd sis turns to a pretty bride at the age of 19 and became mommy when she’s 20. Still remember Machi even walked to my house and show me her sis’s baby. Okok, her niece to be exact. :x  He is a beautiful baby boy with a very classy name, Wayne. I bet when he grown up, he will be a handsome boy, just like his father. I bet I didn’t mention that I know the baby’s father also. He is the 火星人 in my handphone’s phone book.

Baby Wayne and Machi

*Tong, Don’t angry me for using this photo, because he really look so cute^^*

It was a funny story of why I called him that name. Once when Machi call me on skype, she went to take something from her room, so she told me be right back. Suddenly I heard a guy saying hello to me. So I reply back hello and I ask, “Who are you?” He told me his name is “火星人". I feel funny when he tells me he’s from Mars. So I also follow his joke, I told him, If he’s 火星人, then I am “地球人". Thanks to Stephen Chow’s famous movie, 少林足球, he told me this: “地球是很危險的，你回去火星吧" I laugh so loudly. :x

Ok back to the wedding dinner I went to last night. As usual, we went to Public Seafood Restaurant. Mama, Papa, Bro and 3rd Sis went first. Because me and 2nd sis busy with our make up :x. Er Jie drove her own car and then we went not long after Mama and Papa went out. Wore the baby blue dress which he thinks I look more outstanding with the baby blue dress. Part of the reason also because his favorite color is blue, white, and black.

Me in my baby blue dress together with my blue necklace with a little bit of make up. =p

 

Finally, the bride and the groom.

Happy Wedding My Dear Nephew ^^

25 years old.

In my perspective, it is a little bit too young for a guy to marry at the age of 25. For me, guy’s most suitable age to marry is around 27-30 bah. This range age of guys should have been worked for few years and have already stabled their financial status? They should be able to afford in buying things they like for their own and also for their girlfriend as well.

Back to the point, tonight I will be attending my cousin bro son’s wedding. He’s only 25 years old and getting married tonight. It’s not like I don’t agree guys to get married at such young age, if the guy already have a stable financial, then of course they can get marry any age they want.

However, Happy Wedding My Dear Nephew. LOL, feel so old sia. I only knew I had this cousin bro until I’m 17 years old. And his youngest son happens to be my bro’s school friend? Funny. However, his youngest son looks so much like jay chow. No offence to Jay Chow’s fan, its just my own perspective lar. I bet he will look even more alike when he change to Jay Chow’s current hairstyle =P

P/s: Jay Chou’s Songs are nice :x

Apples are Red! =)

Exam’s date is getting nearer and nearer. Been studying so much on e-commerce. Finished my customer service on Tuesday and started e-commerce on Wednesday. I really feel worry, scared, and stressed.

However, thanks to exam, we seem to talk more. We chat so happily everyday and I really feel so happy everyday now. I am so happy with the way we talk now. Hope it wont change. Please don’t make any changes. T.T

God Bless Me Please. I’m so happy everyday now. =)

I used to hate exams. I mean who loves exam? But now I would say I love exam. Because it was the exam who make us talk so comfortable and happy now. Silly? Yes I am. I have always been a silly girl. I am so happy everyday now talking to him in a comfortable way.

God Please Bless that our current situation will remain unchanged. Cause I enjoy so much chatting with him on msn now. =)

P/s: Special thanks to someone for this lovely picture. =P

Apples Are Red =P!

等待

看了一本张小娴写的书，
书名叫做“贴身感觉”
很喜欢看她写的书，
因为很有意义，而且都是事实
这本书的第一篇是以 “一直都等你”
作为标题，
这篇文章里头，她说了一句话，
让我非常感同身受，她说：
“最痴心的等待是一直等下去，
不知道会不会有结果，
还是一厢情愿等下去，
++ 无可奈何，却心存盼望，一切都身不由己++
第一次看到这句话时，真的让我觉得，
仿佛就是我现在的状况，
真是有够悲哀 lol ><
x 一直都在等你 x

Happy Burfday Jocelyn Ng xD

Got this photo from her blog. =p

Happy Birthday to my dearest mei, Jocelyn Ng Sze Lin! =D

Don’t scold me for stealing your this photo hor. Cause you look so cute in this photo. =p Happy 14th Birthday Mei. =D Although you no longer call me jie, but I still enjoy calling you mei =P Know you for I think 9 months le. Since last year December de :x

Paiseh for the delay of your present. Although I use courier service to send to you, but it got delay. The courier service de people so stupid nia, see the address wrongly, 1C he see as 10 =.=” Stupid nia :p Else you already got it with you and can start to argue with me that the strawberry on the book is actually orange. But it actually is PINK. ><

Except for the book which I courier, I bought her 20k A Cash =) I really love my this mei not less hor :x Even though sometimes she scold me on phone. Mei, sorry for all the thing I do that makes u angry. Stay hyper you this cheerful mei. Love ya <3

Once again, Happy 14th Birthday Mei~ <333 ^^

Happy Birthday Nana~ xD

Happy Birthday to my only guy best friend, Mr. Ng Peng Sang aka Ps aka Nana. xD I purposely put this photo because this is the latest photo we take together so far which is 2 years ago? We were celebrating your 19th Birthday at Bbq Plaza. I miss that dinner. Although I wasn’t there for long lar. I think I bought you a Samuel & Kelvin T-Shirt for your 19th birthday. Can’t remember the brand name :x

This is my 3rd year wishing you happy birthday bah. Last year I bought you a watch. Hope you still wearing it and keeping it nicely lar. =D  Still remember how we know each other? Nana, I bet u don’t remember already lar. xD

Thanks to the boring Genting trip, if not I don’t think we will be friends and even became my only guy best friend. xD I feel so grateful to have know you and we became best friend after my confession towards hola. Remember that time we overnight at your house, saw you play audi only I know that you playing audi as well. xD. You still lansi me say you can 8k and I can’t =.=”. After I back to Ipoh, you trained me 8k so that I can play with you. LOL. The most unforgettable part I think its that time you are going to marry Mindy in audi. Sms me and urge me back just to attend your wedding. Lols. Nana, those are happy times. =)

Ever since you started your uni life, you become so busy with your studies and we chat lesser as time goes by. Sigh. I miss the time when you still studying at Ktar. Cause we can chat everyday. I must thank you for being there for me along that year. Thanks nana. =)

P/s: Nana, your audi skill beh kai ed lar now :x Go download back and audi and challenge me lar xD

Once again, Happy 21st Birthday Nana. Have A great ones =)

Best Friends Forever =)

I wish my eye is camera :x

Saw the standing poster when I went to watch Ice Age 3 with my sis in Parade. Guess I’m attracted by the title and Sandra Bullock most importantly. xD

Gonna watch it next week. Need to study real hard for next week’s exam. After exam my exam ends on 23rd July, I will go watch xD. According to him, romance movie are meant to watch with gf. Since I don’t have any boyfriend, I might as well watch alone le la. =(

Luckily its not a purely romance movie, abo really sad die. Just like when I watch The Holiday. This movie is also not advisable to watch alone. Although I love this movie very much. ><

Been study so hard lately. Been banned to touch audi. Studied quite a lot today. Trying to understand and memorize about B2B and C2C, What is e-commerce and what is e-business, P2P, C2C, M-Commerce. I wish my eye can be like the camera. Blink my eyes once, then screen shot is taken and saved to My Picture de folder in my brain.  xD

Anyways, Gambateh Joey! ^^

Wish me best of luck in exam ba peeps =p

Enjoy the Trailer~~waiting :x

 

Ps: Happy Birthday to Chee Weng, May you have a great ones in Putrajaya =D

我一直都在

This song has been my favorite since last time when I first watch Taiwan Version de Hanazakarino Kimitachihe (花ざかりの君たちへ). My music box suddenly jump to this song, reminds me of my current situation.

Ella was always there to support him and be there for him, just like me where I always there for him and supported him. Silly me. Sigh, it’s not like he will like me anyway. >< At least not now.

Enjoy the mv my dear readers =)

Efforts

Last night, it was a happy night for me. For we are talking like how we used to talk in the past. I really feel so happy. I feel the past days has came back. Telling me about what happen in your life, sharing your stories with me. I hope we can talk every night like this. It makes me feel so relax and happy. NOT THINKING so much when we talk like that. :x

After what you told me last night, I finally feel my effort is not wasted. At least now I know that I’m actually not that bad in your heart. =p

This is the way I want. Listening to your stories. Sharing with me. =)

Care for me more like the usual lar =p

Wahaha Yay we are good friends =)

 

Facebook

A pretty rough Saturday I would say. A quite tiring day for him. I am like that, when I feel something is not right, I will feel nervous and worry and don’t know what to do. I will try my best to find a solution to the something is not right feel else my heart won’t be feeling peace. I don’t know what’s on his mind. I am worried if he angry at me. Cause I’m really a very negative thinking person.

Found this horoscope thingy on Facebook *I know you think fb is gay lols* Although we both believe half in horoscope, but this one really sound accurate to me. At least part of it.

My part – The Capricorns

魔羯座的人天生善良，感情也都很脆弱，也許會因為一些很小的事情難過很長時間。 魔羯的人傻的可以，他們並不瞭解愛情，但是他們只知道愛的感覺，對於他們任何感情的表達都是一種感覺，他們很認真的感受每一個感覺，大部分感覺都可以一個人去感覺，最失敗的愛卻要兩個人，傻傻的魔羯一開始會認為，愛你是我自己的事情和你沒關係，可是到後來越來越感覺不是滋味，於是開始對對方表白，表白成功後卻不知道如何走下一步，也許是太不浪漫在作祟，魔羯的人可能會拿任何事情開玩笑，但是在愛情方面只要他說出"我愛你"或者話題談到將來結婚，那麼他絕對不是在開玩笑，魔羯很物質，但是這點和金牛處女不一樣，他們的物質表現在愛上，他們認為給所愛的人帶來無限的物質的就是最大的幸福，因為他們很自卑，唯一能用自己努力獲得來的就只有物質了。魔羯比任何一個星座對感情都很認真，恢復傷痕的時間也很長。

Your Part - The Gemini

當雙子感到獨孤悲傷時，只會一個人躲在房間裡哭，或者一個人鬱悶著。雙子也很怕被傷害，很多時候寧願自己承受一切，也不願別人抓住自己的把柄。所以久而久之也就養成了習慣。雙子基本上也是個很痛苦的人。表面上總是很有活力，很快樂的樣子，可是沒人的時候他又總是很憂傷。雙子總會被一種莫名的悲傷籠罩。但他不會讓別人發現的，他怕被傷害，也怕被別人拋棄，只能自己硬挺著一切。每個雙子都有一個故事隱藏在心裡，多數是不堪回首的往事，雙子是個念舊或者說是喜歡沉浸在回憶中的星座，他（她）的這個故事通常都是因情所困，動了感情而被傷害了的雙子是脆弱的，也是堅強的，他（她）可以很快的振作起來，可以當什麼事都沒有發生，這些都是雙子演給世人看的罷了，等到夜深人靜的時候，雙子內心的傷痛隨著血液滲透到全身，他（她）可以一整夜的去回憶之前的點點滴滴，可以一整夜的沉浸在痛苦之中，可以一整夜坐在那裡發呆，但是，一旦天亮了，要出去見人了，雙子馬上就從痛苦中抽身而走，你看到的肯定是一個神采奕奕的雙子，這就是雙子，擁有雙重性格的雙子，一個在世人面前樂天，快樂，在孤獨夜晚獨自傷悲的雙子

Simply feel accurate only. Judge it yourself. =p

还是好朋友

还是好朋友，比爱人长久 xD

2 Months

Ok this is another silly post. Happy 2 months =). I know you probably won’t even remember about this date. It might not mean anything to you but it means hell a lot to me.

Along this 2 months, we’ve been through quite a lot of things together be it happy or sad things. I cannot describe how grateful I am to have know you and we became good friends in just one month time. Maybe you don’t know how much you mean to me. But I really appreciate you this good friend so much. =) A lot of things happened in this 2 months and I caused you to feel stress without noticing it. I feel so bad and guilty about it. Dui Bu Qi. I must say that you really know me so well and you know what I’m thinking. Every time when you are pissed or sad and you tell me about it, I feel so damn happy because at least I know what is happening in your life. You have no idea how important you are to me in my heart. How I wished I never tell you that I love you. Cause it seems to bother you a lot ever since you know that I love you. The way we used to talk in the past one month seems to change. I am someone who is very frigid. Every single time when I feel something is not right, I will put the blame on myself and try to find solution about the not feeling right feel. I don’t want to become a problem to you. I want to be someone whom you can share your problems and happiness with. I won’t wanting to be your gf. Be close friend is good enough. I just want us to be like what you said few days ago, continue to see me as good friends and care more about me like usual. You are being protective due to some reasons and I know why. You said you only trust half of what I say to you but I can only say let time be the judge. No one can predict what is going to happened in the future. Although my dad is a fortune teller. Rofl.

Like what I said earlier, let’s just keep track of each other’s life and see how things goes for both of us in the future. If we got fate, we will have the chance to be together. LOL la, things sound so weird all of sudden. It’s not like we are not friends if we don’t couple? We can still be very good friends, agree? You say we can still crap if I still want to. So come on, lets talk crap xD I enjoy and treasure every moment we chat together =)

Suddenly I think of a song lyrics,

你想要的我却不能够给你我全部 我能给的却又不是你想要拥有的
Sad But True..

你要的不是我 心碎的失去轮廓 曾经给你的感动 只是情绪的波动

Suddenly Feel Sad..

But most of all, the song that suits me just now, its…

不远 萧亚轩

突然那几秒
好像天使飞过
看著你微笑
那段时间都禁止
远远的注视
仿佛爱情就该如此
为所爱的人
在我心里留一个位置
虽然那前方模糊
可是想法清清楚楚
比所有人都渴望你能幸福
我站在你不远处
默默地为你祝福
把对你的爱藏起来
放你去寻找追逐
我站在爱的不远处
不在乎守候多辛苦
当你孤单时想起我
那是我最大的幸福 

对你的期待
每段都有记载
每一个眼神
我都想要收藏起来
不害怕寂寞
不止一样没人明白
已经快忘了
当初迁就在这里等待
虽然那前方模糊
可是想法清清楚楚
比所有人都渴望你能幸福
我站在你不远处
默默地为你祝福
把对你的爱藏起来
放你去寻找追逐
我站在爱的不远处
不在乎守候多辛苦
当你孤单时想起我
那是我最大的幸福
我站在你不远处..哦

我站在你不远处
默默地为你祝福
把对你的爱藏起来
放你去寻找追逐
我站在爱的不远处
不在乎守候多辛苦
当你孤单时想起我
那是我最大的幸福

Silly you, appreciate her lar =p Make her feel happy all the time =) I know you will de lar. Sigh. I hope the best for you and her. May you both happily loving together. ^^

P/s: I purposely post it at 7:10pm. So it will be 10/7/09 7:10pm =)

Once again, Happy 2 Months to our friendship, Cheers ^^

Horoscope

Horoscope has been one of my interest since I’m a little girl. I will even buy the horoscope books and read about my own horoscope which is Capricorn. And in such a coincidence, he read horoscopes too. =p

Saw this in Facebook last night. Something about my horoscope lar of coz. I found it quite accurate and true about myself.

如果你讓他覺得「感覺不對」，即使「感覺很好」，他也會渾身不舒服，焦躁、不安，急欲找出不對的原因，看看是否能克服，如果可能克服， 他會試著去克服，如果直覺告訴他不可能克服，他便立刻放棄

Feel worry and scare for no reason. This week is the last week for us to have class. Next week will be study week and then exam week for the following week. Feel so worry and stress. ><

三人游

Liked this song for quite some time. Finally wanted to post it here after I hear it for the don’t know how many times in both radio and my lappie. Some part of the lyrics sounds like me when I sing them.

有些话你选择不对他说

You Xie Hua Ni Xuan Zhe Bu Dui Ta Shuo

你说某种脆弱 我才感同身受

Ni Shuo Mou Zhong Chui Ruo Wo Cai Gan Tong Shen Shou

我永远都愿意当个听众 安慰你的痛

Wo Yong Yuan Dou Yuan Yi Dang Ge Ting Zhong An Wei Ni De Tong

保护着你从始至终

Bao Hu Zhe Ni Chong Chi Zhi Zhong

就算你的爱 属于他了

Jiu Suan Ni De Ai Shu Yu Ta Le

就算你的手 他还牵着

Jiu Suan Ni De Shou Ta Hai Qian Zhe

就算你累了 我会在这

Jiu Suan Ni Lei Le Wo Hui Zai Zhe

一人留 两人疚 三人游

Yi Ren Liu Liang Ren Jiu San Ren You

悄悄的 远远的 或许舍不得

Qiao Qiao De Yuan Yuan De Huo Xu She Bu De

默默地 静静地 或许很值得

Mo Mo De Jing Jing De Huo Xu Hen Zhi De

我还在某处守候着

Wo Hai Zai Mou Chu Shou Hou Zhe

说不定这也是一种幸福的资格

Shuo Bu Ding Zhe Ye Shi Yi Zhong Xing Fu De Zhi Ge

至少我们中还有人能快乐

Zhi Shao Wo Men Zhong You Ren Neng Kuai Le

这样就已足够了

Zhe Yang Jiu Yi Zhu Gou Le

I feel so bad when I know I’m causing him so much stress and I didn’t know about it. I’m really glad he told me the truth behind it. I feel deeply sorry for causing you so much stress. Dui Bu Qi. >< However, we had a good talk last night and I hope we can continue talk like last night. =)

Lost

 

I don’t know what to do.

I feel so lost.

Please don’t say you don’t want to care about me le. T.T

I’m not asking you to care for me like how you care for your gf, just don’t say you don’t care about me anymore. T.T At least care for your good friend? ><

I know you don’t want me to think too much, then I jiu don’t think so much lor. I will think positive like what you ask me to. I always listen and do what you ask me to do de mar. =) What matters the most to me is you to be happy everyday.

I need your care to continue making myself happy everyday. You said before that we are still good friends and you still care about me de. I apologize if I did anything that makes you angry or fan. Just don’t say you don’t care about me anymore. I really need your care. T.T  Dui Bu Qi. ><

What I ever want is just you to care about me and share me your problems and stories. Just that simple. T.T It doesn’t mean I’m stuck.

Once you ask me, “you only want my care?” I said if possible of course not only your care. But I know you can’t give me your love so I can only ask for your care. I really need you to care about me. ><

Sour

When I came home today, I saw your offline message. I think a lot about what you told me. Feel stupid for taking the joke too seriously. Feel happy of the truth behind the joke. Feel superb glad and happy cause seeing you pop me up on msn.

Saw something when I go into audi just now. You got married and you didn’t ask me to attend. Guess that you know I’d be very sad to attend your wedding which that was my dream to be marry to you in audi. Silly me. ><

Although I know its good friend wedding. My heart still feel sour about it. I don’t know how to react at this very moment. But I do believe that you don’t want to see me upset de. Haha. Silly me.

I will never find couple in audition anymore.

I wish I know what to do. T.T

I want to audi with you. =(

One Sided Love

When you tell me you got a new gf, I envied but I’m happy for you. At least someone else can make you feel happier than I could. At least she’s beside you and you can go watch Ice Age 3 with her already. Maybe you can even ask her to learn to make sushi for you since you love to eat Japanese food so much.

All this while, I was one sided loving someone who doesn’t will love me the same way. This thing is uncontrollable. We can’t choose who to fall and who not to fall in love with. Cupid’s arrow sometimes can be *senget* abit. LOLs. And to fall in love alone is what happens when cupid’s arrow *senget*.

I thought I already decide what I want to be. But things you said seems to bring big influence in me. You said people always say its better to find someone who loves you more than you love them. It is so true. Even my mom said the same. Because it is more secure this way? When people ask you, at least you can say, he/she likes me first. So at least when things goes wrong, it wont hurt you this much because they love you more than you love her. This somehow reminds me of an article I read before.

有勇气对自己表白,
先付出心意的人...

无论结局是好是坏.
对自己的伤害都不那么大...

因为,
"是对方追我的"

因为,
"我没有像他喜欢我那么深"

被爱很幸福,
可以接受,
可以拒绝,
可以有面子...

于是我们总是等著人家来爱...

但是...
当我们发现,
没办法爱上对方时呢??

又或是我爱的人,
永远都不说爱我呢 ?

我该接受那段不期盼的感情...

还是勇于追求自己的幸福呢?

不能因为害怕伤害,
就干脆不去爱了...

喜欢一个人,
何必在意先说出口...

尝试过，努力付出过，还是不行，只能放手了。

放手也是另一种爱， 爱一个人，你只想他快乐，因为他快乐，我就快乐。

 

Cameron Highland

Was planning to go together with Er Jie and Er Jie fu but ends up didn’t. Waked by the rain drops when it rains heavily this early morning. Mr. Flu came by after Mr. Cough and Mr. Sorethroat gone home. =(

I know you’ve been fan about some issues. I don’t know what can I do to help. I feel sad. ><

No matter what happens, I will always be your rubbish bin where you can throw anything on me and I will supports you =)

Good night =)

I Wish

I Wish…

I wish I could make you smile even just for a while…

I wish I could be a more interesting person so I won’t bored you so easily…

I wish I could cheer you up with my own way…

I wish I could make you feel happy when you’re sad…

I wish I could chill you down when you get sibei dulan like today even though I fail terribly doing that today…

I wish you could miss me sometimes..even just for 5 minutes..

I wish you could wondering where am I when you don’t see me online…

I wish seeing you pop me up in msn again like what you used to do in the past starting with *Boo!* or *Ding Dong* cause I miss those words so much><

I wish to be called silly girl by you because I feel so happy every time you call me so…

I wish you would understand how I feel…

But most of all,

I wish nothing more but for you to be happy everyday…

I would willing to take away all your sorrows for you to be happy everyday if you let me to…

对不起我爱你

This song someone suits my mood now. =D

My Dog Skip

Accidentally change the tv channel and saw this scene. It made me cry so sadly because it’s about the relationship between dogs and their owner. The father bought his son a dog when he was still a kid. They spend most of the time together since they both were small. Until one day the little boy grown up and got a scholarship to study in other place. The dog won’t leave until he saw the boy on the bus. Even when his parents bring the dog home, the dog keep lying down on the little boy’s bed. He look so sad and I can truly understands the feeling. I have been separated with Bibi for 3 months before.

I hugged Bibi more tightly when I saw this sad scene. I have a dog that passed away before too. His name was Chewie. He is a very smart dog. Sigh. I miss Chewie too. ><

明天的微笑

A song that I accidentally found when I opening my own *Fish Leong* Concert. *Singing now* =p

This song suddenly inspire me when I’m emo-ing, I feel so much motivated now. Thanks Fish Leong ^^

有时候 走过一段路
心才会清澈 也才会看到
关于爱 延伸的滋味
不要去发酵 仔细思考
爱过的他 和流过的泪
都会是珍贵的记号
忘不忘 不重要

只要准备好 明天的微笑
无论在天涯海角
相信爱
总会千方百计把你寻找
可能他 终于明瞭你有多好
想回头 朝你奔跑

只要准备好 明天的微笑
当你想拥抱
爱总会 出其不意静静悄悄来到
也许在 生命里的某个转角
另一个人会给你

默契相同微笑

有时候 走过一段路
心才会清澈 也才会看到
关于爱 延伸的滋味
不要去发酵 仔细思考
爱过的他 和流过的泪
都会是珍贵的记号
忘不忘 不重要

只要准备好 明天的微笑
无论在天涯海角
相信爱
总会千方百计把你寻找
可能他 终于明瞭你有多好
想回头 朝你奔跑

只要准备好 明天的微笑
当你想拥抱
爱总会 出其不意静静悄悄来到
也许在 生命里的某个转角
另一个人会给你

默契相同微笑

Rainy Day

Guess Mr. Cough love me so much, he doesn’t seem wanted to leave me alone even for just a while. Rain falls when around 4pm. I somehow like the feel of raining. It makes me feel so cozy and cold. Took a few books with me and went to sit on the swing. The 2 books are 贴身感觉 by 张小娴 and 爱情合众国1 by 林庆昭.

Thought of a lot of things. Things between us. Things you said about me. We talk through about things between us from Wednesday night until Thursday midnight. I feel so glad after we talk about it. You said our friendship means something to you. You want me to think positively.

But ever since you said you won’t stop me anymore, you are being mean to me again. I know you feel fan at times by many other issues. Then share with me, you used to tell me about what you fan and because we are good friends and you trusted me. What happened that you start to keep it to yourself rather than telling me? I will always be your listener. I am happy to be your listener if you choose to tell me about what you fan about. And I didn’t mean that you owe me something just because I been through some hard times with you. I am happy and glad that you are willing to share your problems with me. Can you just continue telling me your problems? Can you tell me what happened? ><

On Monday night where we talk about transformer and you gave me the transformer’s mtv link. You send me the theme song of Transformers 2 which makes you feel otherwise than just pure rock song from them. We talk about Linkin Park’s song and some funny song like Mambo Number 5 and  It was a very happy and peaceful night for me. You even told me you were on phone with her by that time. I feel happy cause that’s how we used to talk in the past and I’m glad that night we’re back. Silly me? >< You screamed in front of me as usual cause you’re bored. I was so happy that you scream in front of me. Cause the way you scream makes me smile every time. I bet you didn’t know about it. How I hope every night will be the same as Monday night and Wednesday night.

亲爱的丽娟

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Decided to write about this lovely and dearly ex room mate of mine when I go through my industrial training in KL 1 year ago. Her name is 丽娟. My dear li juan came here to study and that’s how I met her in college. I will never forget days we had together during that 3 months. We support each other, share sad and happy stories with each other. When she cry, I will cry together with her, when I cry she will cry together with me. She’s my crying partner and I cry the most whenever I call my mom. Home Sick ma. Remember that time whenever I call my mom, when I hear her voice, my tears fall down immediately. I missed my mom. She will pat pat my back and hug me when I cry. However, she gave me an unforgettable memories which I won’t forget for the rest of my life. That time my mom haven’t got the time to transfer money to my account. I have no money to buy food. That time she was trained in the Mini Bread Shop in Ritz Carlton Hotel. She knows I don’t have money to buy food and she bought bread for me when she’s back from work. Guess that’s the sweetest bread I ever eat in my entire life. It’s not about the bread, but the kind heart of hers to buy me bread. It’s exactly like someone send me charcoal during winter.

Words can’t describe how thankful I feel to have her by my side during the 3 months time. There is a moment where I think I cannot finish my training and wanted to go home cause I’m having home sick seriously that period. She was the one who tells me that she knows I’m tough and I can do this. She encourage me and inspire me in a lot of things. I really miss her so much. She’s back to China le. She’s 福州人. I wanted to earn more money so that I can go find her in China. ^^

I feel thankful to her and to my God. Cause God send her to accompany me during the tough days when in KL. I thank her so much because she gave me supports when I’m having tough time. Still remember I used to wait her to finish work and then we both walk home together. We talk and we laugh together about who who who’s gossip in the hotel.

亲爱的，我真的好想你哦 ><