2 Years and 3 Months

It’s already 2 years and 3 months since I know Ivan and we became best friend, I can still remember the exact date we know each other in Starbucks 2 years ago on 22nd August 2009. 2 years ago we had our dinner at Denis Jazz Bistro, 2 years later which is today we are still dining in Denis Jazz Bistro but the feeling is totally different. We became more matured and I can feel our friendship has grown stronger.

For the past 2 years, we’ve been through a lot together both sad times and happy times. Of course, the happy times are more than sad times =)

I will never forget how we met and became friends, exchange fb and msn on the first day we know each other until you told me on the phone that day that *Joey, you are really my real best friend* I feel so touched when you told me so and at the same time I feel grateful to have known you =)

2 years ago @ 28.10.2009

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 years later @ 22.11.2011

I wanted to say, Ivan, you are truly my real best friend too =)

and we will always be best friends, because true best friends are meant for life =)

接受

当事情演变成现在的情况，我想，我该庆幸我们之间已经没什么好说的了

从一开始，所有的都只是一场梦，是你给了我一场梦，但同样也是你让我从梦中醒来

早就该预料到这天会来的，分别只是在于迟或早而已

没错，刚醒来的时候，非常挣扎，拼了命想要睡回去，但是，梦醒了，就是醒了，很多事情，在梦醒的那一刻，都不能重来了

挣扎了一段时间，就算心有不甘，也无可奈何，只好接受

然而，接受梦醒了的这个事实，突然发现，接受比挣扎来的轻松。

有些事情，不能接受，只能选择走开，或许走开一段日子，会对彼此都好过，勉强抓着一段错误的感情，伤到他也伤害到自己，慢慢的明白到，放开他，我也放过我自己。

他不应该，让我感受到我原以为不属于我的喜悦....

我并没有怪他，我反而要谢谢他，因为他，我更加了解我自己，让我可以变成一个更好的人。

Claire 跟我说，放开他，如果他会回来，他是你的，如果他不回来，那有更好的人在你的未来等着你 哈哈

这点，我是很相信的 哈哈哈

我跟他之间也算是告一段落了

我们还会是很好的朋友吧 哈哈

Things will be better in time ^.^

Au Revoir~ Mon Cher Chester Li

安静

.

.

.

.

.

我没有这种天分 包容你也接受她

我会学者放弃你 是因为我太爱你

In the end.

No matter how much I cry, it still doesn’t change the fact of the current situation I’m facing. You said, it’s just a game, and I shouldn’t take it too seriously. Be it just a game like you said, I put in my real feelings, those feelings I have for you were not fake.

That night when you told me why you can’t accept me, you have no idea how pain my heart is at that very moment. Every single word that night stabs my heart like throwing millions  of darts on a dart board. I never knew I was so  difficult for you to handle, and I’m really sorry for sharing our things with 2 of my close friends. I thought to get better advice from them based on our situation, therefore I told them. But  it is because I don’t want to lose you.

I know how mad I made you that night, perhaps it’s good to make things clear for us. I make your life bad, I make you feel tie up and hard to breathe. For that, I’m really deeply sorry. End of that night, you offers me to be your closest mei. I refused to be, I don’t want to be your mei. We choose to be close friends. Very close friends you said.

When I thought everything is going to be alright, until that night, when you came online, I saw your ring is gone. You asked me in pm, will I be very angry if you couple her. I said I might quit. I knew you were pissed when I said that, because it makes you feel like you have no freedom in doing things you wanted. You love your freedoms and space. You came into the game is to relax and play with friends. But every time I online, I will surely go finds you which makes you feel I’m sticky, I thought I was pei-ing you. For that. I’m deeply sorry too.

To be honest, it hurts me badly when you coupled someone who is close to me, someone who I used to tell her about how much I like you and things related to you. I know I have no rights to blame anyone on this issue, but still it hurts badly inside my heart.

Feelings won’t just fade away like nothing, I need time for me to move on. Now that you have her as your couple, I won’t have to worry if you have no one to accompany you anymore.

This is what I keep telling myself. I know it will. :)

Lastly, thanks for all the memories you gave me for the past 3 months. I appreciate it a lot and will keep them with me carefully. Thanks to you, I’ll be a better couple in the future.

My wish.

I wish to cared by you even though I know it’s not right.

I wish you knew how much I wanted you to be happy.

I wish you could see how much you mean to me.

I wish I could make you smile, even just for awhile.

I wish I could be the girl who always listen to you, be there for you, supports you, cheer u up when you’re sad, calm you down when you’re mad, chill you down when you are pekcek or dulan, mostly importantly, someone who can make you happy and forgot all the fan things.

Music Means...

30 Seconds to Mars taught me to speak whats on my mind

Greenday taught me that government's gonna fail someday.

Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love

Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through

Travis taught me to be generous

Taylor Swift taught me not every girl is going to treat me right

The script taught me to move on

Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me

Music taught me to live

Saw this on youtube and feel so meaningful. :)

Crappy Days.

A good friend of mine asked, “how is your mood today?” normally I won’t be feeling negatively as I have been feeling positively as always. Something bad happened last night, and I began to wonder the value of myself among my friends. Do I mean something to you, my friends?

Along with some other things that happened for the past few days, I feel defeated. However, special thanks to Jocelyn, Angela jie, and my best friend see meng, who was always there when I need someone to talk.

Mindy Gledhill’s California

Have you been to California
Seen the sights and people there
Walked the streets of sleepy sea towns
Tasted salty ocean air

Once I flew to New York City
Took my picture in Time Square
Soho nights and Broadway lights
Such a pity you weren’t there

Pack your bags and lock your door
I’ll take you places you’ve not been before
All I’ve ever wished to do is
Travel through this life with you

Make your way to London, England
Paris, France is also nice
Ooh la la, when people say hello
They kiss your cheeks three times

Chorus

Monte Carlo is awaiting
Bombay intoxicating
The sky in Bora Bora is
The color of your eyes

Chorus

April.

Ah Ning is now 6 months old le! YAY! =) She now will lean to me if she wants me to hug her, and as her Xiao Yee, I’m happy about it. =)

It’s been 3 months since Ah Wei went to UK. I do miss my dearest brother very much but at times I don’t know what to say to him when we’re on msn or skype.

Job hunting was never easy but I search on jobstreet everyday. Honestly, I really have no idea what kind of job really suits me well, but one thing I’m sure about was I enjoy talking to people. I’ve been in sales department before and I enjoy meeting my clients and discuss the details with them. =)

When I thought my phone is back to normal, it auto-restarted again. Should I get an iPhone instead or buy Android better? :/

 

错的人

究竟, 被人喜欢, 被人追, 是很过瘾的
但是, 如果对方是已婚的, 那就一点都不过瘾了
一直以来, 在我工作的地方
常常有一些固定的顾客
每个月都来缴电话单
我是指那些corporate的固定顾客
其中有一个, 他每次来几乎都是我serve的
就这样, 我们有时候会聊聊天
至少, 这是我服务顾客的方式
他人很nice, 很 gentlement
是典型的砖石王老五
我当时没想什么
就是当他是个customer而已
就这样聊天聊了几个月
每个月都是在他来缴单时才聊天而已
有一次, 大概是七月的时候
我很好奇地问了他 
"其实你的公司是做什么的啊?"
他说
"建屋子的啊"
我 "哦" 了过后, 他竟然说要我用纸写下他的号码
我当时有吓倒一下, 然后跟问他说,
"你无卡片的啊?" 他说
"我的卡片在车, 你等我一下"
过后他就特地去车里拿给我

看了看, 哇, General Manager
我当时看到这张卡片
然后想想他的条件
有事业, 样子也很不错, 又驾 Toyata Altis 
那里可能没有女朋友?
过后几个月, 他来的时候, 我都在 on leave
就在有一天
我还记得, 那天是星期六, 还做到蛮迟才回家
回到家, 大概是三四点
坐在沙发上, 突然听到This Dance在唱
是他打来的
他问我说, 很多个月没见到我, 以为我没在Digi做了
说想请我吃饭, 喝茶
聊了一下, 就挂了电话
他怎么会有我的电话? 
是有一次, 算错帐, 我的帐不对, 
刚好查到那天他的帐好像有问题, 
紧张起来拿起我的电话就打了给他
我想大概是那时候, 他拿到我的电话号码吧
一切都没什么不同

我没做工后, 星期一 21.2.2011
至到在送阿姨和星羽去KL搭飞机
然后去印尼大使馆, renew Susana 的 Passport 
那天, 我们等了很久很久
大概是四点半, 他打给我, 跟我聊天
聊了还蛮久一下 大概有20分钟
星期二又打给我 也聊了15分钟
星期三打给我 但我没听到
星期四晚上, 我在跟我爸和姐姐打麻将
他打来说明天吃饭, 我说好啊
星期五他打来, 问我得不得空吃饭, 我就跟他说, 不是昨天说好了吗? 他说哦好的, 等下见
我们约在我家附近的 Station 1 Cafe
我们约了1点
结果大概12点半他打来说他早到了
听完电话时, 其实也准备好了
把车停好了, 下车了, 却觉得很紧张
打给施明, 想要抒发紧张的心情
她跟我说, 就当根一个朋友普通的吃一餐饭

挂了电话, 看到他坐在角落
拉了凳子就坐下了
开始聊天, 在商量要吃些什么 
我看了很久, 只是点了一个mushroom soup
他点了一个羊扒
我们就这样, 边吃边聊..
聊着聊着, 突然聊到他的老婆,
他们的相识, 他们之间的问题, 和他们的女儿
听着的同时, 我不是很明白为什么他要告诉我他们的事情
老实说, 他可以选者不告诉我的, 
毕竟我没必要知道这些事, 而且也不关我的事啊
他说他们感情不是很好, 也本来要离婚了, 只是想说女儿还小, 才四岁..不想让她有个破碎的家庭
所以暂时不离婚
聊着聊着, 他也要回公司了..
我跟他说, 你先走吧, 我再坐多一下, 就走了
他说, 他会在打给我
但事实上, 当我知道他是个已婚男人, 并且有个女儿
已经不想再跟他有任何联系..
无可否认, 我在知道他有老婆和家庭前, 对他有点动心
但是知道后, 我不再听他的电话..

午餐后的下个星期一, 他打来约我去看电影 *I AM NUMBER FOUR* 
我没有即时的答应他, 只是说我会再给他知道
其实我已经打算不去了..
打给了我的好朋友 Ivan, 告诉他有东西要跟他说..
结果我们就在星期三出去..
已经很久没跟他出去了..
我们去了 Oh Sushi 吃午餐
把事情告诉了他...
我知道, 如果我真的喜欢一个人, 我会奋不顾身的爱下去
我不懂得如何handle这么复杂的情况
我就不要去involve
Ivan说可能我想多了
Ok 就当我想多了
我想多了, 不再跟他联络
不跟他去看电影
不听他的电话

万一我想少了呢?
我继续跟他联络
跟他去看电影
结果我会很喜欢他
很有肯能变成第三者?
破坏人家的家庭?
那绝对不是我想要的结果
而且会让关心我的人心痛和伤心
我也会陷入非常痛苦的状态
何必呢?
为了避免这些可能性, 我决定不再跟他联络
他也没再找我了
可是说真的, 要是他还没结婚, 我肯定会考虑跟他在一起的
因为, 他实在是很不错
也或许, 我们早点认识就好了

唉...
可惜了，Daniel Yong. 
Period: 21st February - 4th March 2011

终于

就算心中百般的不舍得，又能怎样？
大概很久没哭了

打麻将输了

眼眶也红了

红了，并不是因为输了

只是很情绪化的哭了

心里很复杂

他到底还是会回来的啊

我以为，知道他终于找到了自己的真感情

一切都会化为乌有，并且死心

继续努力哄骗自己，

只是好朋友而已

就算不想，我又能怎样？曾经想过的如果，我比任何人更加清楚，是一百零一个巴仙不会发生的
苏民锋说我们属兔的今年会比较情绪波动
看来，很准嘛
他多年来的梦想终于实现了，
我替他非常开心
接到通知的那一刻
我陪他一起度过
手里握着电话在抖
没人知道，我多孤单.

继续往你的梦想飞翔, 你一定可以做的很棒! 加油! :)

Bee.:D

I feel super relieved now. I found my long lost best net friend in facebook! Haha! Yup, I found BEE! Hahahahaha.

I still remember we met at mIRC when we were young, where we’re both was only 15 I think. I still remember we were quite able to talk well and since then we keep in contact from mIRC to Icq and to msn and we continue keep in contact through sms and phone calls. We used to talk a lot and we became online best buddies. A lot of memories flow out one by one, I must say we had a very great time talking and chatting together.

So according to my calculations, I know him since 2002, so its 9 years already this year. It’s been a great pleasure to know him. I used to call him different nick names. Ah Bee or Bee. Sometimes when I mention Ah Bee, my mom would think is a girl friend of mine, but Bee was actually his surname. xD

Bee, a very good old friend of mine. Cheers! =)

A testimonials written by him 5 years ago. :P

A Great Night Spending with my Best Friend :)

Had a great night spending with my best friend Ivan. It’s been so long since we last had a heart to heart talk. He fetched me around 1030pm and we talk until 2am. Too much things to update and share, but we manage to share everything tonight. I’m so glad and appreciate every moment we share together. We talk everything, and I’m so happy for him that he finally found someone he really has feelings for. I believe everything will go smooth for him! Because the secret says so! :)

Review back for the past 2 years since I know him, it’s been an adventure and I will never forget those times we spend together. I have not much friends but thankful to have a few true best friends like See Meng and Ivan. We may have a lot of friends but only true friends will stay long and sincere and I’m lucky to found 2 true friend which always be there for me when I need supports and guidance.

Thank you so much my dear true best friends! You both are the best :) !!!!

I believe true best friend stays forever!. BFF For life! :)

Bai Tian Gong 2011

Happy Bai Tian Gong! :) Huat AH! May all of our wishes come true ! :)

The usual guest apart from our family members, the usual gang Eric and Mun Kit, this year we have Mun Kit’s Gf, and Alfred.

My side, Ivan together with Peik Yew, Cindy Chai and Chun Hong (Aka Ah Zi)

Wished the same wish as last year, hopefully this year all the wishes will really come true. :)

Baked cup cakes for 2 portion, glad to know peik yew them loves it! :)

Thanks so much for the compliment - Not so sweet and Tasty :P

Nice fireworks. Recorded some fireworks video, wait till I finish editing it and I’ll upload here for you all to see.

It’s been some time since I last blog. Hard to get myself to write blog unless listening to *我和自己的约会*

I have to post about my birthday! :)

Chit chat with Ivan them until 230am and they left. Luckily they left, cause not long after that its back to raining already. Heh.

Good luck to my dear best friend who are going to KL tomorrow. Gambateh! You can surely do it. You are so awesome :)

One question, Samsung or Nokia?

Yes, my phone gave me lots of problems, and the most disappointing part was its not even a year YET! =.=

 

Tears.

I cried. Was playing mahjong with my Eldest Sis and my younger brother. I was taking a new cards and suddenly I cried. They freaked out. It was so sudden. It’s been a while since I last cried. All this while when I cannot always tell anyone about my day, I will just keep to myself for most of the time. Kept too long, exploded I guess. =/

But it didn’t last so long la of course, I mean I didn’t cry for a very long time, maybe only 5 Mins? ^^

 

New Year

It's late at night now but I'm still awake. Wondering if my best friend is mad at me cause I hot no reply from him. Sigh, apart from my family and my parents, my best friends are the most important person in my life. If there is anything wrong between me and one of my best friends, I will not able to sleep well. I've only have 3 best friend that is very important to me. See Meng, Kar Ling and Ivan :). Once again, Happy New Year 2011 to all my dearest friends :)