安静

.

.

.

.

.

我没有这种天分 包容你也接受她

我会学者放弃你 是因为我太爱你

In the end.

No matter how much I cry, it still doesn’t change the fact of the current situation I’m facing. You said, it’s just a game, and I shouldn’t take it too seriously. Be it just a game like you said, I put in my real feelings, those feelings I have for you were not fake.

That night when you told me why you can’t accept me, you have no idea how pain my heart is at that very moment. Every single word that night stabs my heart like throwing millions  of darts on a dart board. I never knew I was so  difficult for you to handle, and I’m really sorry for sharing our things with 2 of my close friends. I thought to get better advice from them based on our situation, therefore I told them. But  it is because I don’t want to lose you.

I know how mad I made you that night, perhaps it’s good to make things clear for us. I make your life bad, I make you feel tie up and hard to breathe. For that, I’m really deeply sorry. End of that night, you offers me to be your closest mei. I refused to be, I don’t want to be your mei. We choose to be close friends. Very close friends you said.

When I thought everything is going to be alright, until that night, when you came online, I saw your ring is gone. You asked me in pm, will I be very angry if you couple her. I said I might quit. I knew you were pissed when I said that, because it makes you feel like you have no freedom in doing things you wanted. You love your freedoms and space. You came into the game is to relax and play with friends. But every time I online, I will surely go finds you which makes you feel I’m sticky, I thought I was pei-ing you. For that. I’m deeply sorry too.

To be honest, it hurts me badly when you coupled someone who is close to me, someone who I used to tell her about how much I like you and things related to you. I know I have no rights to blame anyone on this issue, but still it hurts badly inside my heart.

Feelings won’t just fade away like nothing, I need time for me to move on. Now that you have her as your couple, I won’t have to worry if you have no one to accompany you anymore.

This is what I keep telling myself. I know it will. :)

Lastly, thanks for all the memories you gave me for the past 3 months. I appreciate it a lot and will keep them with me carefully. Thanks to you, I’ll be a better couple in the future.

My wish.

I wish to cared by you even though I know it’s not right.

I wish you knew how much I wanted you to be happy.

I wish you could see how much you mean to me.

I wish I could make you smile, even just for awhile.

I wish I could be the girl who always listen to you, be there for you, supports you, cheer u up when you’re sad, calm you down when you’re mad, chill you down when you are pekcek or dulan, mostly importantly, someone who can make you happy and forgot all the fan things.