To You.

To You.

Last night was a disaster for me. I just want to say that I will not blame you for anything because it’s not your fault. You always tend to blame yourself for everything no matter its right or wrong. I know you would surely think it is your fault. Blame you? Scold you? Hate you? Everything on you? It’s not even your fault. It’s my own problem. Just don’t feel so guilty already you silly =P

From we firstly know each other, until we became good friends, I feel happy about what happened between us. Remember the *dit dit dit* sound you heard while we were on phone that night? Well, it’s not *dit dit dit dit and then diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii*, its *dit~dit~dit~dit~* continuing. I wouldn’t say I know you very well. But you must admit that I somehow knows what you think at times? xD We think alike de lor, please remember that!

I’m feeling so thankful for God to bring you into my life. I am so happy to have a good friend like you. And I’m sure we will always be good friends. =) So don’t be silly and we can just rewind back to the day where we still laughing happily on the phone. Remember your rewind theory? How good if everything can be rewind and according to you, it can be be rewind.

I have this silly thinking before. That you might have like me a little but you didn’t notice it. I still remember there is this period where we both are confusing what kind of relationship we are in by that time. Missed the time you call me *dear* because of the silly and stupid dream I had about my mei, my kor and you.

Ok, I’m over bubbly again. The main point I’m trying to say its we are good friends and we will always be, ok? ^^  Thanks for giving me good memories. I will cherished the memories you’ve gave to me. You’ve been giving a good memories for me and the memories will continue building. Cheer up ^^

The time we coupled has been a very happy day for me. You always pei me play. But you can’t pei me much now already. =(

You know what I need than anybody else. Just continue giving it and I’ll be satisfied. Love can’t be force. I’m glad that you found someone you like. It’s good for you. Lucky her, she will get every care from you.

Most important thing, DON’T FEEL GUILTY YOU SILLY!! ^^ And do the promises you promised me. =)

GOOD FRIENDS FOREVER =)

Heartbroken

My heart is very pain. But I was told that I cannot say my heart is pain. Cause according to scientific knowledge *special thanks to Jocelyn*, heart pain or heartache only happens when we are having heart attack.

Everything was normal until this afternoon when I was back from my class. I went to audition to play with Wen Jie and Fel. And in the room, I realize something. I know he doesn’t like me to jealous so much but what I saw is just beyond my limit. My tears straight falls down when I saw him saying *I love you sorpor* to her.

No matter how I message him in audition or sms, he didn’t reply me much. I cried non stop. Cause I really don’t know what to do. I thought last night we both still happily talking on phone. And suddenly, everything just changed. I asked him in msn later on and he doesn’t seem to know what to reply me. It all began ever since he knows the girl when she ask him to send her *haxx*. He likes her. Even though she likes to bully him by talking to him in Cantonese. At this very moment, I blame myself for not able to make him to like me. I’m such a failure. I can’t even make someone I love to love me the same way. Or perhaps no one would ever love me the same way as me towards them. I don’t know. ><

I hate her. But I have no rights to even hate her. Hate her for snatching him from me? He’s not even my audition couple anymore. I can only blame myself because I can’t make him to EVEN like me like how I love him. How pathetic. I called him up to talk to him. He doesn’t know what to reply me in the phone. 

But however, I remember what he promised me. He said he will never pangseh me. I truly hope that we are still good friends. Because I have nothing much left with me T.T. He said I will never feel alone because I have him.

I don’t know how to smile anymore. Wen Jie, we will just remain the same like before ok? Don’t bu li wo cause you already coupled with her and if you don care about me I really will collapse de. ><

I feel so sad. I can’t go through this alone. T.T  Pls, someone cheer me up? ><

At the very end, I can only say I tried my best.

I Love You.

We on phone for 1 hour last night and we didn’t notice it. I guess its because we are having happy time talking together. I can’t really describe how happy I am when I’m on phone with him and I enjoy it so much. He sounds so cute and I love listening to his voice. We hang up because he needs to reply messages. Else I really hope we could talk more longer. =(

I really love him so much le. I am happy to be loving him. =)

I told my mei about what I wish for from Wen  Jie. She say my wish so simple. I only wish to stay by him and share his problems when he sad or share his happiness with him when he’s happy. I just need him to chat with me and care for me and I care for him. I said I will wait for him for 1 year. And I will do so.

Wen Jie, I really love you so much. Just don’t push me away and thinking I’m wasting my time. Because I don’t think its wasting at all.

陪着你的光阴 怎样都不算蹉跎

陪着你的光阴 永远都觉得不够

 

Happy Papa Day ^^

Happy Papa Day to all the Papa in the world =) May You all have a great one with your sons and daughters ^^

This morning I woke up at 1030 by mama. She say today is Papa day and Papa wants to go eat breakfast together. We didn’t tell Papa tat we are going to celebrate for him. *But I think he knows =p*

So we took him to the Old Town Kopitiam at the Ipoh Field. The streets are quiet because its a Sunday mar. However, it is quite crowded inside the kopitiam. I’ve order the Gai Si Hor Fun as usual together with a bowl of half boiled egg plus with one cup of enrich chocolate. As usual papa didn’t order anything lor. He *income tax* of our food as usual xD. He has been doing that since we small and so we already used to it  :x

After brunch, We went to shop a little. I bought a shoe from Coey’s Shop. I saw one shoe but 2 different color. One is the white ones and the one was the black one. I love both of them very much. x.x but wasn’t allow to buy them together. Mama say buy one try and see if its comfortable to wear then only decide whether to buy the black ones as well. I choose the white ones than the black color because its more easier when I need to match my clothes and bottom.

I bought the shoe with RM35 after 20% discount by Coey. ^^    

Then I went to walk around and saw the ground floor got this KBOX Singing Competition. I walk by the stage and went to Starbucks. Thought of having one cup of my favorite chocolate cream chip but then again it’s expensive. x.x However, I accidentally bumped into Calvin. He was with his 2 girlfriends. *Pure girl friend only he say* We talk for some time then he went off with the 2 girl friend of him.

My New White Shoe. =D

Invisible

Taylor Swift : “This is a song about a girl who loves a boy who loves somebody else”

She can't see the way your eyes will light up when you smile
She never noticed how you stop and stare whenever she walks by
And you can't see me wanting you the way you want her
But you are everything to me

And I just want to show you, she don't even know you
She's never gonna love you like I want to
And you just see right through me but if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable
Instead of just invisible, yeah

There's a fire inside of you that can't help but shine through
But she's never gonna see the light, no matter what you do
And all I think about is how to make you think of me
And everything that we could be

And I just want show you, she don't even know you
She's never gonna love you like I want to
And you just see right through me but if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable
Instead of just invisible

Like shadows in the faded light, oh, we're invisible
I just wanna open your eyes and make you realize

And I just want to show you, she don't even know you
Baby, let me love you, let me want you
You just see right through me but if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable
Instead of just invisible, oh, yeah

She can't see the way your eyes will light up when you smile

I like this song, whenever I listen to it, its as if singing what is in my heart. T.T

=(

YAY! Finally. After so many nights of not enough sleep, I finally hands in my assignment. Never really audi much due to the assignment and I feel so bad about it. Although I did audi a few rounds to distress myself in between. But really only a few games nia. :x

I want to thanks him for keep urging me about my assignment. He wasn’t really happy lately. I guess I know why bah. Tomorrow then is Saturday le. I feel so scared of tomorrow due to what he had told me earlier. I can’t even be happy when I think of what he said earlier about tomorrow even now I’m free of assignment already.   

Today is my 3rd sis’s birthday. We will have dinner with her as the past years. I really hope him to be happy. He always say “don worry about me”. I would do anything to make him happy lor

I miss the emoticon he use. Especially the xD word. ><

L o s t

Lately bad things keep on happening on me. My 2nd sis is angry at me and we have not been talking for the past one week. She’s angry at me because she seeing me emotional not stable but still cares about my friends. At this very moment, I just hope someone would talk to me and comfort me. I need supports and unfortunately there is no one here to support. He is now having a bad mood and I really hope he can cheer up later on.

Will someone just pop up my msn and cheer me up? I really need supports…><

I can’t go through this alone.

God please I beg you to bless me with the good blessings. ><

Ice Cream

Guess what is inside? Its cute right? Dog head as the cover. It’s Japanese product and it is ICE CREAM inside. One small small container with ice cream separately. Cute right? :x

S m i l e =)

人生有多少个十年？ Enjoy the life while you all can peeps. Happy or not happy also have to pass the day, so why not choose the happy? And yes it is always easy to say, not easy to do. >.>.

So, GAMBATEH LOR!

P/s: Feel happy for Ken, May you enjoy your Paris and Italy trip with your gf lar :x

Blur Queen

I totally cannot believe that I actually left my hp in my room.>.> I only realize that when I was in the car where my bro is rushing to drop me off and go for class as well. Things doesn't seem to end this way. I forgot to bring my comb with me and now my hair is so messy and I wish so much to go home and take my hp now. T.T

6 more mins till my class start. Please call me blur queen. >.>

*Not ~BlurQueen~ * but really a blur queen.  .____.

How I wish he could *poke* me when he sees this, but I don think he has the mood to do so anymore. I missed talking to him. =(

Woke up quite early by mama this morning at 615am. They came back from JB le. We went to 富山eat 点心. Stupid msn is driving me crazy again. Been wanting to leave offline message for someone but doesn't seem able to deliver. >.> Fine I'll just send it later on when I'm back at home. I feel like skipping customer service classes later. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I really wants my hp back so much =(

1 Month

Happy 1 month! It is very silly , cause we are not like together for 1 month or something like that. However, this day means a lot to me. The fastest friend-become-good friend in my history. Even my best friend, It took us half a year to become best friend. I really appreciate this good friend of mine and I just want to say I’ll always be your listener and supporter no matter you’re sad or happy.

However, I’m really a boring and not interesting person. I often bored people easily. But that is something I couldn’t change. How I wish I can be a joker. At least I can cheer people up. There are also people cheered by me in their own way. For example, 2 of my brother-in law. They can be very happy by simply *suan* me cause they know I won’t mad at them and they find it quite fun to *suan* me. I don’t mind to be *suan*, at least I made them happy.

Sorry for being a boring person. T.T

Happy 1 month. =)

Past Tense

I tend to be someone who loves to reviews back all the histories I had back then with some of my friends. Some of them, we just don’t keep in contact, but some of them we still keep in contact, updates each other’s life in msn sometimes. It doesn’t matter its one month once or one week once, as long as we keep track of each other’s life.

I love to wander so much on the msn history I have with everyone in my msn list. Of course, there are a few histories on my favorite list. Like Luna, Jack, Marc, Seal, and Ps. This few person I mention has been my favorite person to talk, especially Luna and Ps. Luna is my god sis, I love her to bits but she’s busy with her life and so we haven’t been talk for months. Ps is my best friend and he’s been supporting me a lot in the past few years and he is still supporting me now but only when he is FREE. I purposely highlighted the FREE word cause he has been super duper busy since he started his uni life. His birthday is soon coming which next month 15th of July. It is also my mei ’s birthday. Gonna find one day go post office and post the present to mei. I bought Ps a watch last year for his birthday. I would really feel so happy if he is wearing it on his birthday. And possible, I might be able to celebrate his birthday together with the Nana gang this year. Maybe together with Ken as well. However it is yet to be confirm.

However, histories can break our heart at times.

别再为她流泪

For someone who doesn’t wants to read this. =)

I modified it and here it is =)

你走了太久一定很累
她错了不该你来面对
离开她就好 就算了 心情很干脆

她其实没有那么绝对
远一点你就看出真伪
离开她不等于你的世界会崩溃
转个弯你还能飞

就别再为她流泪
别再让她操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈

她不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
她曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后为自己醉
以后管她是谁

每段感情都非常珍贵
她的好你就放在心扉
记得有个人曾让你那样的心醉

你笑了照亮夜幕的黑
什么梦都不比你的美
多少年以后想起她还有些体会
那些你已无所谓

*Quote from Fish Leong de 别再为他流泪*

Justin

Sometimes, this world can be really so small. Remembering Judee told me about this guy call Justin. And something to be surprise is that when I was working in Tower Regency Hotel like 3 months ago, there is this guy call Justin as well. He is the technician in WinCom Telephone System company. I can’t really remember what their company name. :x

Every time when something is wrong with the telephony system, we will ring the wincom and tell them to come and check about the telephone system. If serious, Ms. Pearl will come along too. But the usual person whom I deal more with is this guy call Justin as well.

That time, whenever Justin come, he will ask me. “So, what’s the problem today?” Or when I do the talking first, I will look at him and smile and say “I’ve got a present for you” and tell him about which guest complaint that they cannot call through their room or they cannot seem to make call to outside.

Ok how we used to talk is not important. I’m just over bubbly over it. Ok the main thing I’m trying to say that the Justin that Judee knows is the same Justin that works in WinCom. :x

This world really so small. :x

Kor

How would anyone of you would feel when someone you care for so much tells you that they are stress out talking to you? Whoever knows me well knows I care so much for my kor.

On this day, he told me he is stressed out talking to me. I care for him so much and so when I know he is stressed out talking to me make me feel so sad and the first thing on my mind is of coz I don’t want him to stress. However, I said something wrong with the wrong intention. I realized i have this thing, I tend to say what I really want to say into the wrong meaning and makes people misunderstands my means and got pissed or angry with me.

So I said the wrong thing and everything has became a disaster for me. Kor, I don’t know if you are reading this or not, I just want to say I’m sorry for the words I said. I just don’t want to see you stressing cause of me. We’ve known each other for 5 month plus and I’ve always feel blessed to have know you. I’ve been crying and I only hoped you can treat me as normal friend. I don’t dare to wish for much.

I hope you understands the messages I send to you. We have histories. They will always be in my memories.

KY Pan

Happy Birthday to Kim Yoong Gor. =)

Still remembering how I know you. We know through a game call Fairy Land. We get to be very close in a short time. You trusted me so much and even give me all your account’s password. You didn’t worry if I’m a hacker or a account cheater and just trust me without suspecting me. I thank you so much for trusting so much in me. =)

Still remember you send me a very touching sms.

You wrote…

每次想跟你说心事的时候， 你总是会扯回你自己的身上，继续说你的故事，真是对你又爱又恨。爱你总是那么淘气可爱，恨你总是那么不解温柔。

我只想说，真的很对不起你，每次你打给我讲心事，我都会扯回我的故事。我也恨我自己><

Maggie n Alvin’s Birthday

Happy Birthday to another good friend, Maggie Chin Mee Kee. Called her on 13th of May around 00:12am to wish her happy birthday. She was in Genting when I call her. Hope she had a joyful birthday. =)

Happy Birthday to the first guy I confessed my love to in sec school, Alvin Seah Song Yaw. He was the first guy I confessed and luckily not rejected. At least its not a direct reject, it was an indirect rejects. He only treat me as his friend. Called him as well after Mee Kee. Talk for a while and he is an Insurance Agent now. *Bravo clap clap*. He is a architect turned Insurance Agent.

Happy Birthday Once AGAIN to both of them =)

Friendship Forever, Cheers…=)

Birthday

Wen Jie, Happy Birthday ^^

Sent him something I never did to anyone before. Lols.

*Paiseh for my sucky voice :x*

A guy who I know through the sabo of my kor. Known him since 10th of May. Had some misunderstandings earlier but then things are back to normal after that =) *grateful*

He is a quite interesting guy. Caring and funny. He will cheer me up when I’m sad. When I got scolded by my father or my sis, he will cheer me up. He listen to my problems and I must say that he is a very good friend of mine. I feel so grateful to know him and glad that we become good friends. I like chatting with him very much, feel relaxed when talking to him. As time pass by I find out that we both tend to think alike. We have so much in common *although he say is just small matters what we have in common* but that’s what matters.

I think I liked him. I tried to like him as my good friend but feelings are hard to control. Although I know I liked him but I also know that he has a girlfriend. I can only say its bad timing? However, I won’t do anything. I will just remain good friends with him. I only hope that he would share his problems and happy things with me. At least I can know what is happening with his life and cheer him up when he’s sad. That’s all I ever wish for. I will pray everyday and give my best blessings to him and his girlfriend ^^

Once again, Happy Birthday my dear good friend, Wen Jie ^^

Spanarlogy

A friend of mine saw my msn title, told me he understands how I feel cause he is feeling the same way towards someone else. He is missing someone else too. Just that his someone else is someone who has boyfriend. Then I told him that there is nothing much we can do about it when We like someone who has a bf / gf. He told me that there is actually things we can do.

2 things can be done according to him.

• “ Spanarlogy ”
• Walk Away

You all might be wondering what is the meaning of “spanarlogy”. I was also don’t quite understand when he told me that. The 2nd option of coz lar its easily to be understand. First time hearing the word of “spanarlogy” and it really shocks me that such word exist. It’s just created by some people? Ok back to the topic.

“Spanarlogy” is actually origin from a canto phrase “撬墙脚". This is a not so ethical way but I cannot say it is wrong. Technically it means stealing other people’s boyfriend / girlfriend. However, everyone has their own opinion, some would say its very low class or evil for doing so. Some would say as long as he / she is not married to that person, there is still chances, and they would think they are just fighting for who they love, they are not wrong. For myself, I think it is very wrong. People are happy together with their gf / bf and why on earth you want to steal them? Just because you like them too? Even you won him over another girl, what’s the fun ? what you get? If he / she is able to grabbed over by you, then it is a sure that he / she might be grabbed by other people and ends with he / she left you with all those sadness and sorrows?

I know it is quite helpless when you like or love someone who already has a gf / bf. But sometimes we can just say its the wrong timing? Liking the right person at the right time. That’s what make things perfect. However, not everyone is that lucky to able to like the right person at the right time. There are also people who likes other people at the wrong time. They are not wrong, they just happens to liked someone at the wrong time.

Quote from the movie of “The Holidays”

Iris: I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.

My recent movie – The Holidays

Recommended to watch. [if possible, try not to watch it alone, cause I watched it alone and it somehow makes me feel more lonely]

However, it was a good movie. I would love someone like Miles.

Starbucks – Chocolate Cream Chip

What is your favorite starbucks drink? Caramel Macchiato? Ice Caffee Latte? Or the new flavor Dark Berry Mocha Frappuccino? Mine is simply Chocolate Cream Chip. I’m loyal to it ever since I had the first taste of it. Simply irresistible. =D

Just a random picture that my friend captured while I’m taking photo of 3 Cups of Starbucks Chocolate Cream Chip. He just too wu liao at times :x

It is one of my favorite drink but it is quite expensive. RM14++ per cup? I wish to drink le. Gonna save money to drink =D