记得要忘记

This is a song i accidentally found. A very old song by S.H.E. Mostly of the lyrics is about must learn to forget those memories or leave it untouched anymore. There is a song that helps in my music therapy, it’s call *As you turn away* by Lady Antebellum. *I don’t wanna let you go, but you’re already gone* *Let go of my hand, so I can feel again, nothing gonna hurt as much as that final touch,  No we can’t be friends cause I don’t think I could take seeing you and knowing where we’ve been, I hope you understand. * very meaningful song =)

I’m not sure since when I music-therapy myself to get heal…to move on…although there is always times where i will still miss him, thought of the memories and his face. No matter how, I know I have to slowly let go no matter how, accepted the fact that things won’t be the same anymore.

It’s been a month since at my new company now. Maybe I’m not good in my understanding, but I tried my best to not repeat any mistakes anymore. I don’t want to make mistakes and make Li Yen angry anymore. I can actually sense that she doesn’t like me much. Therefore i told myself to only do my best at work and ignore others. I mean we cant expect everyone to like us ma. My main purpose is to work and save more money =)

Seems to get used to the lifestyle here now, Christmas is coming everything is rushed in my company. Bought a cup for my company Christmas lunch events at Parco Cafe on the 24th of this month. This is my first year spending Christmas here, hopefully its peaceful =)

It feels so good to know when someone told you they think of you =) especially when that someone is someone you’re interested, um I mean he’s quite a nice friend. =) Get to know him through a misunderstanding. Which also because of the misunderstanding I know his name and start to pay attention to him. Starting everything was just a joke between Mei Tein and Irene when I told them I mistook him as our company staff. Things start to change when Mei Tein give me his personal email whereby they used to contact during the auditing process. I took the email and search on facebook and found him. Added him, send him a *thank you for accepting my friend request* message. Haha! It just a polite way of me =) He did reply about few days after he accepted my friend request on facebook. He only asked me once if I’m from LHN group and I say yea. Last Tuesday me and Wai Ting stayed until 9 to pack the *FU* calendar for our tenants and suppliers. It was also on Tuesday night he stayed till 9 and we left together with 2 of his colleague and took the same company bus. Never expect much and just went home as usual. It was until after I finish bathing and saw him fb message me asking me why do I OT today and we start to chat and he asked if I got whatsapp. He gave me his number and then we start to whatsapp that night. They say he got the *mom confirm approve* de face hahahaha. He looks silly but cute. Haha :X I was treating things normally until one morning he asked if I got think of him. Honestly I never expect him asking me such question but I’m happy =) He’s quite caring and sweet enough to ask me about my work in the morning. He took time to apps me even though hes in camp and busy reservists. I would say that’s some effort. =) He also told me he always here to listen to me, which actually makes me feel warm hearted. =)

Anyway, shall not put so much hope yet and goes with the flow. Get to know each other more first for now =) But my instinct tells me he’s interested in me and things are quite positive now. Told jie about things between us and she say this is the normal speed and we are progressing quite smooth and positive. We shall let the fate to decide =) Hope for the best ^_^

As you turn away~

This is quite a meaningful song for me...which the lyrics I would say is so ME! 

Sigh...

I would really agree on most of the lyrics...
especially this few part...

I don't wanna let you go...but you're already gone....
Now you kiss my cheek soft and bittersweet
I can read it in your eye baby this is our goodbye...

Nothing more to say nothing more to break ~
I keep reaching out for you...
hoping you might stay....

Nothing more to give nothing left to take~
I keep reaching out for you, reaching out for you...as you turn away...

Let go of my hand so I can feel again...
Nothing gonna hurt as much
as that final touch...
No we can't be friends 
Cause I don't think I could take seeing you 
And knowing where we've been...
I hope you understand...

我知道

我知道，无论我有多么的不舍，也没办法了...

你终究都把我们结束了...

跟你一起相处的时间, 虽然只有两天, 但是我还是要谢谢你, 让我觉得很开心, 跟你在一起, 回想起来, 在那两天，我的眼里真的只有你, 没有别人...虽然很短暂，但我没有后悔 =)

心里是多么的想要跟你有个未来, 曾经我傻傻的以为我们会有未来, 或许是我给不了你要的东西, 也或许是你还想她...尝试在我身上找到相同的感觉, 却找不到...在回去的巴士旅途中，当眼泪开始流下，很心痛，很不舍。。。记得我在陪你去搭巴士回家，上巴士前，紧紧的抱住你，仿佛知道是最后一次的拥抱，当时并没有想太多，只想抱住你然后不放手，你抚摸我的头发，然后我们就分离了。。。

哭了, 痛了, 无可奈何还是得放下了...无论多么不舍, 我知道我必须放了你, 明白到放过你, 我也放过我自己...如果有一天, 我不再关心你了, 那绝对不是因为我狠心, 而是你让我走了...

我必须停止联络你, 我知道你还是想保留朋友关系, 只是我需要时间来慢慢调整我的心情...毕竟付出的感情不是假的...我是真的很喜欢你...我妈常说, 是你的怎样都会回来的, 现在放手, 如果你们是有缘的, 会在一起的...顺其自然吧...勉强得回来的并不会开心... =/

就让时间去决定, 去帮我负荷我的痛...就如那首歌的歌词那样, *都会过去的* 新工作就要开始了....我知道一切都会很好的...

如果

我承认，我是一个任性的孩子
我想尽办法用我的全世界来换取一张通往你的世界的入场卷
原以为我成功了，到后来才发现，一切只是我的一厢情愿而已
我的世界，你已不在乎了
你的世界，我被赶了出来...

也许，我跟你是注定只能擦肩而过，刻意的挽留，也只能心力交瘁
我想我该学习放手，可能放手，幸福也许就就在不经意间，被留驻了

不要过分去强求不属于自己的东西，因为那样毫无意义，潇洒的放下该放下的...去活出自己的精彩....

我无法去决定 你心中的哪个位子
即使我拼命去努力，学会了付出 珍惜 拥有 却依然无法进入你心里
是不是要等到真的结束了
你才会感觉到我的努力

是不是我消失了你才知道我的对你的意义?

虽然我会痛心，我一旦爱上了一个人会全心付出
一旦我真正决定了死心，
我只会在心里哭一次，然后狠狠地把你忘记

真正的忘记一个人，并不需要任何东西，
时间会证明一切。。。

I won’t give up on us.

Sitting in my room blogging again under my dim light, pick a song that suits this ambience, everything just seems peaceful. =)

I know there is nothing I can do, or indirectly you felt the pressure from me, for that I’m really sorry but it’s because I like you too much.

Heard Jason M’raz’s new song. It’s call *I won’t give up*. The lyrics simply ring a bell to me when I heard it for the first time. I really won’t give up on us, I want to find out the possibilities between us, even I might ends up getting nothing, I wont regret.

I admit I was too intense but I really never expect too much from you, as long as we are still like before, our usual routine, I’m already happy =)

Don’t give up on me, or us. Just don’t. I don’t feel as happy when I’m with other people. It feels different when I’m with you. Feel so safe when you are holding my hands, as if scared I will got lost. I tell myself, this is worth fighting, for we are happy when we spend time together. =)

 

Fallen

The storm is coming but I don’t mind~ a very special song I love recently, caught this song from one of the proposal videos that he give me. That video is really touching :) It’s *Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson*

I guess I’m in love with him. Don’t want to admit but I guess I am. Miss his hugs, miss holding his hands and just walk around. *blushed*

Despite everything, I will just wait till he’s ready for us. I am willing to wait for you. =)

I will never forget the two dates. It’s memorable and I was very happy. I’m glad I made you happy too =) You were concerned in the end you still can’t give me anything or any promises, but I wont regret no matter how. At least in the end we had a great time together and happy memories. =) 

A quote from ugly betty, matt told betty this. “Look, there’s no way to know what’s gonna happen, but I do know I want to find out.” and I really wanna know. I really hope I could hold your hands and show you to my best friend about you and they be happy for us. I want to see the possibilities between us. =)

Dearest Dii

Decided to dedicate this post to my dearest dii. Saw his sorry on his own blog’s chatter box, felt sad. Sad because we haven’t been talking for quite some time now. But I know he has his own reason of doing so, probably girlfriend issue and also studies. His studies in poly is really so hectic I would say so, that’s what I felt from him.

Still remember how I know him until we get very very close for around, 8 months time. I wanna thanks to Chester, if not because of him I wouldn’t have this cute didi. =) Having him as my dii is really one of the greatest thing happen in my life. Although he’s so much younger than me, but his thinking is quite matured, a sweet matured guy. =)

I will never forget how we spend those sad and happy times even just over viber. I’m glad I’m there for you mentally during your sad times. I really wished I could be there physically for you, not only your ex. ^^ To be a real jie jie that can support you and give you a warm hug. I really wished. =)

I wanna thanks you for accompany me for interview last month. You woke up so early for me and pei me the whole day until after lunch. I’m really grateful. =)

No matter what happens, you know I’m always here for you and support you. Jie always love you! =) Jiayous in studies and cheer up always <3

中秋节

It’s been 11 days since I got my chicken pox. It’s rather a suffer and itchy sickness. Worst part? Scars all over my back. :(

PS: 我要庆祝中秋节！跟我的家人一起庆祝！ =(

Chicken Pox

Chicken pox is certainly not fun and the itchyness is driving me crazy!

Itchyyyyy :(

Gathering and bowling session :)

Receive Ivan's call and ask my bro to drop me at Josephine. It was so sweet of my bro and I thank him when I reach. Was rather being abit rude without notice, according to Ivan. Must not repeat that again *only talk to him even when his friends is around*

It's been months since we last met around April. I'm glad we are still as close as always :) he suddenly say *friends are always better than being couples in a way whereby couples might not ends up still being friends but friends will still be there :) however in my opinion that also depending on situation :/

The gathering last from 430 till 635pm. Then I ask Ivan to drop me at olivenz behind Jusco. Asked him to sit for awhile while waiting see Meng and tuck Leong to reach, so until around 740 they arrived and finally I am able to introduce 2 person who meant a lot in my life, my 2 best friend of my life. :) Love both of them :)

After dinner we went to parade for our. bowling session. It was my first time experience same goes to see Mun and tuck leong. Ends up I lost the most :/ but it doesn't matter as long as we had fun together :) had a great day today ! :)

Hee :P

Promised myself on this picture on 9th Sept 2011, and I’ll be going there soon! Hehehe :X

A little bit of here and there.

Finally, 17 days to my Paris Trip. Yesterday was a very bad day for me, however it passed. Today is a brand new day, so much positive today!. YEAH!

Bad mood can really make me cry, though I can’t cry for long, no idea why either. Well, my bad mood is the combination of a few issues.

• Parking is full so I have to park further in which I walk further from parking to office.
• Someone been not replying me much at night. On this issue, I need to pull back before falling too deep, I need to focus more on myself. =/
• I skipped my lunch due to not knowing what to eat anymore, cause basically everything is bored after I work here for about 8 months now. *Do not evoke a person who is in deep hunger, it will be the last thing you do*
• Fear of job insecure, for this, I need to credits to my family who supports me especially my eldest sis, and my younger brother, not to mention, Angela jie, Snakey aka Jimmy, and cyrus didi. Adding a new one, Edison ! :)

Combinations of this few ingredients really makes my day bad. However, it’s passed.

Need to keep myself reminded that he’s just a closer friends, NOT BF, at least not yet :X

Went out with Suki for singing session on Thursday! Hehehe, she picks me up on office then we go parade to sing. Met Carson again, hahaha, hmmm he always switch between jusco and parade, and yet i still met him, really fated! Hahaha. We was given a big room and both of us silly girl was thinking, “Wahh, so big a room, let’s open our own concert! XD” and so we sing a lot of songs happily! YEAH!

Our *Concerts* ends on 8 and then we went to our next stop, Sushi King. Shared a bowl of Tempura Ramen, ate a few sushi and chat chat chat. After Sushi King, I decide to redeem my FOC Frappuccino Chocolate Cream Chip with the size of Grande (medium size). She still feel not full enough after sushi, so we ordered Shepherd Pie and share. Chris and Looqman are in the shop and we chat happily with them. Hahaha. Sad to know that Ben is based in the Starbucks back in Station 18 AEON. :( He’s such a joker and he gave me 30% off for his staff price back in Parade! XD

【 RELATiONSHiPS HAVE STAGES ♥ 】

【 STAGE 1 (1-3 Months): The Honeymoon Stage 】
Everything seems perfect, both are happy and feeling “in love.” You share moments, dates and just having fun with each other, sharing laughs and giggles. It’s like nothing could stop you. Your feelings are infinite, and for once you’re thinking, “This may work out….” and it seems like nothing could go wrong. You spend hours getting ready before going out with this person.
*If your relationship ended in this stage — Most likely, both rushed into the relationship too quickly. Being together was all too sudden and just for the moment. When one starts noticing the flaws, one gets a choice to move foward, or back away. Being friends has a high percentage of working out, but nothing to stress over. Both may just need the time to get to know one another better.

【 STAGE 2 (4-6 months): The Bumpy Road 】
Things are going okay now. The relationship is calm and settled; both are still mostly happy. Had a couple arguments and disagreements here and there, nothing huge. Start to notice some of each other’s flaws and aspects of their personalities not seen before, but still truly care for one another.
*If your relationship ended in this stage — You truly cared about this person. You had the energy to fight for this person, yet you feel as if something was lacking, something was missing. It doesn’t feel right, one isn’t happy. When one isn’t happy, one tends to walk away to seek their new happiness. Being friends is still a possibility.

【 STAGE 3 (7-12 months): The Rocky Mountain 】
You start to realize who your partner really is. A few more arguments may occur. Problems with jealously, overprotectiveness may arise. Other people may come in the picture. The “in love” moments start to decrease, but you feel as if you’ve “fallen in love.” You tend to have this energy inside to strive and “make it work,” and you feel more comfortable being around this person, feeling more of yourself.
*If your relationship ends in this stage — You feel as if you’re hurt, depending on the circumstances. You were so sure that that person was “The One.” You were so SURE that he/she was different. But like a cancer, a problem that may have happened, a small issue, grew into something larger that took over what was made between two people. You still miss this person from time to time. You still remember the memories. Being friends may be difficult right away, but over time, you slowly mature up, and learn the reality of it.

【 STAGE 4 (1 year or more): The Long Road 】
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years, huh? This person truly means something to you. You are “in love” with this person. He/she made a difference in your life. No one else knows you more than this person. You guys have been through the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still strive to make it last.
*If your relationship ends in this stage — You feel heartbroken; it’s tough. You can’t sleep, can’t eat, you miss him/her, you try to move on, you try meeting new people, but seems like nothing works. For whatever reason the split occured, it must’ve been something important, or something must have been so wrong that it took over. Being “just friends” is impossible, because if you tried to be friends, you wouldn’t be able to think of them in any other way besides the one you once “loved” .. .. ♥

如果，你在乎我...

如果，你在乎我..
可不可以让我知道
不要总是让我找你
那会让我感觉
你根本就不在意我
如果，你在乎我..
就不要总是让我孤单一个人
我真的很讨厌寂寞
如果，你在乎我..
记得多关心我关心我
我喜欢你问我今天做了什麼
而不是自己一个劲地告诉你
我今天怎麼了
如果，你在乎我..
在我情绪低落
心情鬱闷的时候
要多讲话逗逗我
不要一直的沉默
其实.. ..
只要你一句话
我就会很开心了
如果，你在乎我..
在我生你气的时候
絶对不可以想著我在生气
就不理会我
这样.. ..
我会很伤心
也会更生气
其实、我只是想你哄哄我
如果，你在乎我..
不要总是回我
呵呵、哦 这类的话语
就算你不想说话
也要多打几个字
不要让我感觉你是在敷衍我
如果，你在乎我..
不要让我在需要你的时候
却找不到你、那样的我很无助
如果，你在乎我..
要记住我们在一起发生的事情
要记住我的喜好
如果，你在乎我..
不管是好是坏的事情
我都想你可以告诉我
让我分享你的快乐
分担你的忧愁
如果，你在乎我..
你会想办法、让我每天都开开心心的吧?
如果，我在乎你，我也可以做到.. .. ♥

Relationship Stages.

Relationship Stages

Meaningful and educated clips. Special thanks to Wang Fu Production. It really got me thinking. =)

Guiltiness

 

除了对不起，我不知道该说什么了..

I have to cut down my emotions (already in progress), I shouldn’t show so much emotional to my friends around me. Thanks to mei and sai, and most importantly my dearest close friend, Peng Gor aka EJ.

Not to mention nag about anything just nag for awhile then just move on to another topic, don’t drag too long. Have to always remind myself, to be considerate and change my current image in my friends.

However, my guiltiness inside me is killing me. I have to go into audi and pretend everything is alright. Can’t afford to lost the friends around me, so no more emo for me. I swear! Decision has been made, actions need to be carried out.

Peng gor, I would like to express how sorry I am towards you, I say those to everyone we both is my fault but I didn’t know what to do when you treated me coldly it sucks to be treated that way. I want to see if they can help me on this issue therefore I try each and everyone of them whom we know. Despite the fact I have a reason for this, I know I shouldn’t and I’m wrong. You are right to be mad at me. I deeply apologize. :(

I will change, I really will try harder to change. >.<

T_T

Le Paris Here I Come! :)

Marina Bay Sands?  Poofed. Gone like a wind, not going anymore… =(

France? Yes please. Ticket has been booked and taken, date has been confirmed and this means Le Paris Here I come ! However, it cost me around 6k T_T

Nevertheless, I have to go on this trip no matter how, I might still very young but my friends around me are not able to go with me on this =/

Lately, everything is weird, people around me, things that is happening, it’s all weird, even at my work place. On work issue, I tell myself, no matter what changes I felt, as long as I do my part well, that’s all, just so simple. Can’t afford to lose my job and I know I wont! =)

P.S: Some may think eating alone is carefree and worriless, it is true but it can be very lonely too sometimes. =/

God please bless me on everything.

Recently, I feel the changes in my good friend peng gor. We’ve been so close for so many years, we can on phone for 1 hour plus and laugh non stop, but for the past few weeks I feel difference in him, don’t ask me what I just feel the difference on him. Confronted him and he say he might be changed but want me to know that it’s not because of me or he dislikes me or he hates me. IT’s not. He convinced me that everything is alright and ask me don’t worry. I understand that people changes in time, maybe I just need to learn to adapt the changes and adjust myself to the changes around me. =/

Bought myself a Dior Liquid Foundation last week.

This bottle of foundation cost me RM120 (Thanks to Carol Sis’s voucher discounted RM20.) =)

 

The Hunger Games

Watched “The Hunger Games”. Don’t really like this movie much, it’s too cruel for me, the point is, why not just name it “The Hunting Each Other Game”, at least it sounds more honest to me. In this movie, there are total of 12 District in that country. Each of the District will have 1 chosen team which consist of 1 boy and 1 girl to represent their district. The last survivor in this game will be the winner. Which also mean “Kill other people first if you don’t want to get killed.” In conclusion, I don’t like this movie, BUT…it’s fun enjoying movies with my siblings. :)
Mr. Lam then suggest we go Sushi King. We had our lunch and then I went to renew the AEON Member Card, paid around RM24 for 3 years. I’m going say, they should create more counters for renewal! We need to press number from the que-ing machine and wait for the numbers. I took the number before our lunch at 3pm. Guess what? When I’m done with my lunch I decide to go upstairs and check if the number is passed. Went up I still need to wait for 5 numbers and its already near to 4! =_= scary. 
However~

Looking forward so much to my Marina Bay Sand and France ! *.*

Carol Sis’s Europe Trip @ 2012

My eldest sis just came back from her Europe Trip last night. Let the photo do thy talking. =p

The first brand who comes out with the idea of chocolate wafer. It’s the first in the world. =)

Original Neapolitaner

me myself & my… LITTLE BITES :P

Earliest 2012 Birthday present FROM…..CAROL Sis! Love Ya! Hehe

Famous Handcraft Music Box from VIENNA! :P

ZOOM In! @_@

Vienna Tea with Mozart Face

Treble Clef…Do a Deer, a Female Deer~ :P

THE END

Truth ?

Am I being sensitive or you’re actually hiding the truth from me?

At some point, I hope the reason of you doing so is to protect me, but I rather you tell me the truth. Not too sure if what he said is right, when I confront you, you told me you didn’t know a thing about it. I guess there is nothing I could do however it hurts me cause we were so close.

A lot to digest in just a night, it’s really so hard to please everyone. No matter how I wanted to defend and explain for myself, I just don’t seem to get a chance to do so. Even for something I didn’t do but being accused of doing so, I don’t get a chance to even explain about it, what’s fair about that? Even if I did something wrong please at least let me know what is the charges? But it’s exactly like I have been sentenced to death before even getting a chance to do self-explanation. Sigh.

A lot of things going in my mind, but I guess no matter how long I dwell into the things I don’t have answers, I still won’t get any answer I want by overthinking about it. So just let things goes.

 

Trips! Yay ^.^

Marina Bays~~~~ 22-23 April !!

Gonna stay in the uniquely newly built hotel in SG! AWESOME!

UK Trip~~~ 10th-18th July!!

Gonna stop by Dubai for 2 days~~ Follow by Newcastle and most ultimately, FRANCE! OMG!~! I cannot miss it! I gonna save hard for this trip! OMG OMG OMG ><

OMG can’t wait for this two trips~ I love to travel as usual!. Sight Seeing!

I’m gonna make a habit to write a post everyday!

Watched P.S. I Love You, can really feel how Gerry loves Holly, how he planned the whole thing and even made her mom promise to do things he asked for after his death~! So heartfelt and touching, imagining if I'm Holly I’ll surely be amazed by a guy like him too.

 

New bed room

Falling in love with my new bedroom... Peaceful and relaxing :)

Snow Flakes

Milk chocolate snow flake is back in town! Hee

Girls Date Out!

Fetched Iris sis from her work place after work ends at 6 and drop myself off in Parkson to meet up with Suki.

Booked Kbox for singing session. Called Suki once I reach Parkson. Meet up her in front of Kbox and we went in to sing. It’s been a very long time since our last date to sing. Sing until 8 and we went down to Sushi King for dinner. We shared a set and chit chat.

After dinner we decide to watch “This Means War” and we go GSC and buy tickets. Its been a very long time since I did this all in one day time. Every time just movie or just singing session. I had a great night ! =)

Talking about “This Means War”, I really love this movie. I laugh from starting till the end of this movie. ! 9/10! =D

I love Tuck! =p Safe and Sweet!  FDR is charming too but a little bit too playful for me. Suki prefer on FDR of course and me? Tuck ! :P

忘了

我心要换你的 真的不行那么 只得放了.. 放了...忘了...

iPhone 4S =p

Finally, on this wonderful day, my long wait shows its worthiness, after suffering from half a month (19 days) of waiting, my precious phone is finally here!

My dearest – iPhone 4S! Hehe =p

 

Got my precious phone for RM1,100 upon sign up contract for 2 years. Got sponsored half by my dad as my 24th birthday present. Hehe Thanks Dad ! Love Ya!

The best birthday present I received on my 24th birthday! Hehehe *grateful*